the state of dreaming
by Charmaive
Summary: Rachel couldn't help the guilt that bubbled in her chest when she watched Quinn get a prom photo alone. Determined to make it up to her, she invites Quinn over for a sleepover. It becomes a routine. Set immediately after 2x20 (Prom Queen).
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** After shipping Faberry for years, I've finally contributed something to the fanfic community, because funnily enough I never watched Glee but finally put in the effort of watching the first three seasons. I don't think I care to watch the rest, but at least I feel I can write about the show now that I've seen it, haha. This is *planned* as a two-shot, but I haven't completely written the second chapter so we'll see if I can manage to wrap it up satisfactorily.

* * *

 **the state of dreaming - chapter one**

* * *

Junior prom was a disaster.

Rachel hadn't expected it to be great – for various reasons – but she also didn't expect it to be so messy.

She supposed that she should take her share of the blame; taking Jesse St. James as her date was obviously a perfect ingredient for chaos. Rachel Berry was anything if not a forgiving person, but she hadn't quite forgiven the boy for leading her on and humiliating her.

Yet she said yes, because seeing _Finn and Quinn_ together made her heart ache, and maybe taking Jesse to the prom would help her forget Finn. Or make him realize what he was missing. She didn't really think it through, evidently.

It worked, if getting Finn jealous enough to start fighting with Jesse leading to both boys getting kicked out of prom was considered a success.

Everything had just unravelled terribly after that. Kurt had been elected Prom Queen and ran off, and Rachel was appalled Principal Figgins hadn't realized it was an act of bullying before he read the name out loud. At least Blaine was there.

She immediately regretted everything once she followed Quinn to the bathroom. She wasn't exactly planning on spending her junior prom getting slapped and then reconciling with the blonde, but somehow it made her relieved.

They ended up back on the dance floor eventually, and New Directions (sans Finn) enjoyed what was left of prom.

Rachel couldn't help the guilt that bubbled in her chest when she watched Quinn get a prom photo alone. Rachel lost her date, too, but she hadn't cared about winning prom queen, and it wasn't like she was in a relationship with Jesse.

So, near the end of the night, she wrung her hands nervously and approached the blonde who had just finished bidding farewell to Mercedes.

"Hey, Quinn," Rachel called softly.

Quinn had clearly noticed her approach and arched a brow in question. Rachel hesitated, waiting for a verbal response, and Quinn sighed. "Yes, Rachel?"

"Well…" she started, a little unsurely. "I was wondering if you'd perhaps want to – to come over to my place tonight. Seeing as our dates have been… removed from the premises, they've probably gone home already, so…"

Quinn's face twitched, her lips curving into a small smile. "Yeah, I kind of still blame you for that."

Rachel ignored the dig and instead thought about the muted sadness in Quinn's eyes. "Okay – so let me make it up to you."

Quinn visibly softened, with a small shake of her head. "I didn't mean it like that," Rachel opened her mouth, about to respond, before Quinn continued. "Fine. I'll come over, if it'll make you feel better."

Rachel beamed. "It will."

Quinn had rolled her eyes when Rachel held the door open for her with a dramatic bow, but Rachel could tell she was fighting a smile.

* * *

It worked out, seeing as Finn was Quinn's ride to prom. Luckily, Rachel and Jesse had opted to arrive in their own vehicles. Well, in Rachel's case, it was her dads' vehicle. She texted them before they left to inform them that she was bringing a guest.

Finn had offered to pick her up, Quinn told her as they drove.

Rachel chewed her lip as she kept her eyes on the dark road. "Do you… want me to drop you off at Finn's?" She wasn't a fan of that plan for many, many reasons but she also didn't want to force Quinn to hang out with her.

"No," Quinn laughed, somewhat bitterly. "I'm still mad at him." The guilt stirred in Rachel's chest again before the blonde spoke again. "Besides, how else will you make it up to me?"

Rachel relaxed. "True. Unfortunately, it wasn't planned so I don't have anything prepared, but we could watch a movie or something – if you want," she suggested as they pulled up to her block.

"A movie is fine with me," Quinn shrugged. "I just can't wait to be out of this dress."

Rachel could agree with that sentiment, although she wasn't lying when she said Quinn was the prettiest girl she ever met. It was very apparent the moment she saw her all dressed up in a beautiful blue gown.

Wordlessly, they rolled up to Rachel's driveway, until Rachel shut off the ignition. "Nice house," Quinn said conversationally. Technically, she had been here, once – that time she hosted that house party. She just smiled and gave a quiet thanks instead of voicing that thought.

The two girls exited the car, and Quinn waited patiently for Rachel to take the lead and unlock the door. Once the door was opened, they both promptly shuffled inside. Quinn delicately removed her heels, and Rachel moved to set her own shoes inside the closet. It was clear her dads had gone to bed already, as there were no lights on other than in the foyer.

"Okay," Rachel said, "My room is upstairs. Follow me."

Quinn did as she was told. From the corner of her eye, Rachel could see the blonde peeking around curiously as they walked up the stairs and down the hallway.

"This is my room," Rachel said, a little shyly, as she flicked the light on. She suddenly became self-conscious; Quinn had never been in her bedroom. She hoped the blonde didn't think it was childish.

Quinn looked around briefly. "It's very… you." Her tone wasn't particularly malicious, but Rachel didn't know if being "her" was a bad thing to Quinn or not. She would have asked her to elaborate, but the blonde had started fiddling with her dress.

"Oh! Um, I guess you'll need to borrow pajamas," Rachel realized as she made her way towards her dresser.

"Yeah, I wasn't exactly planning on sleeping over at your house," Quinn smirked.

"Is a t-shirt and PJ shorts okay?" Rachel hoped it was, because she could imagine the comments Quinn would make about her cutesy-printed pajama pants.

"Yeah," Quinn replied, and Rachel handed them to her. "Thanks. Where should I…?"

"Oh, the main bathroom is your first left in the hallway. There's a spare toothbrush in the drawer that you can use." Rachel turned to get her own pajamas, before looking back to Quinn who had nearly left the room. "Um – wait."

"What is it now?"

Rachel moved closer. "Could we maybe… take a picture together before we take our dresses off? Just a casual one," she clarified. "You look really pretty, Quinn."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Okay."

Rachel held back a huge grin as she pulled out her phone, moving her head close to the blonde's. They smiled briefly for the photo, although Rachel noted that Quinn's smile hadn't reached her eyes.

"Did you want proof that I came to your house or something, Berry?"

"Of course not!" Rachel huffed, crossing her arms. "I just thought it'd be a nice memory to keep."

Quinn's eyebrows drew together almost imperceptibly. "I'm going to get dressed now."

Rachel watched her go, then walked back to the dresser to retrieve her own pajamas. She sighed. Maybe it was a mistake to invite Quinn over; she obviously hadn't had the best night, but Rachel hoped that she'd be able to cheer her up a bit. Instead, the blonde just seemed withdrawn.

And maybe it was just her hopeful nature that made her believe they connected earlier tonight. There was always something about Quinn that made her think they were meant to be more than enemies – she hesitated to even use that word, because she never saw Quinn like that – but maybe Quinn _did._ Everyone else in Glee club certainly believed it.

Rachel shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. She was being a terrible host! She dressed into her pajamas hastily and tidied up her room a little (although there really wasn't much of a mess). The sound of footsteps coming down the hallway caught her attention about five minutes later, and she set down the pillow she was fluffing.

Quinn knocked quietly, and Rachel smiled. "You can come in."

Rachel tried not to feel pleased at the sight of the taller girl in her clothes. She looked good, like she always did, so Rachel didn't think that was surprising. What was more surprising was how immediately comfortable Quinn looked without the dress.

"So, about that movie…?" Quinn prompted.

Rachel blushed. She had been staring. "Oh! Feel free to sit down on my bed. Normally we'd watch in the living room, but it's pretty late, and my room is mostly soundproof, so…"

Quinn laughed softly as she sat down on the plush mattress. "Rachel, you don't have to explain everything. I don't mind."

Rachel exhaled. She hadn't realized how nervous she had been, but Quinn was acting a little more relaxed, so maybe it would be okay. "Sorry. I was just afraid that I had upset you."

The blonde bit her lip, as if she was debating on saying something or not. "No, no. Let's just watch a movie, okay? I'm a little tired of drama for tonight." She looked down for a moment.

"Of course," Rachel finally sat down, leaving considerable space between them. "Do you want me to make popcorn, or get you a glass of water? Then we can watch."

"I already brushed my teeth, but a glass of water would be great."

"Okay, I'll be right back. You can choose the movie over there," the brunette signalled towards her extensive collection of DVDs.

Quinn smiled. "I hope you have more than just musicals."

"I do," Rachel assured her, moving towards the door. "I'm sure you'll find at least one movie that's to your taste."

With that, Rachel set off to the kitchen. She made a brief detour to brush her own teeth and do her skincare routine – abbreviated because she didn't want to keep Quinn waiting – but she was glad to feel refreshed after such a long night.

Rachel returned to her room to see Quinn on her cellphone, looking a little perturbed. However, the blonde was quick to set her cellphone down on the bedside table when Rachel stepped closer. Quinn's hair had been let down, loose curls falling over her shoulders as she looked up.

"So, did you find one to your liking?" Rachel asked as she handed Quinn a glass of water, the blonde smiling gratefully in response.

"Right here," Quinn grabbed a DVD she had set aside, handing it to Rachel.

Rachel was surprised to see that she had chosen a romantic comedy, but she wasn't going to question it. The brunette turned her bedside lamp on and inserted the movie into her TV, flicking off the light before she went to settle on the bed next to Quinn. Her chest fluttered when the blonde gave her a small smile.

This wasn't how she imagined her junior prom, but somehow it felt appropriate.

* * *

Throughout the movie, they both got more comfortable on the bed. Rachel would peek over and see if Quinn found the same scenes amusing, although she was pretty sure she was caught multiple times. There was little conversation between them, only small comments from time to time, but Rachel was content with the silence.

However, near the end of the movie, Quinn spoke up. "I wouldn't have forgiven him, if I were her."

Rachel glanced at her, bemused. "Why not? I mean, he's kind of dopey and slow to catch on to things, but he loves her."

"I don't know," Quinn shrugged. "It just seems like she's settling."

Rachel thought there were many comparisons to be drawn here, but she didn't want to try disentangling _that_. Instead, she just laughed. "It's supposed to be a feel-good romance, Quinn. The kind that makes you gush because love is fun and exciting." Rachel fiddled with a blanket absent-mindedly as she paused. "When you're in love, you can look past someone's faults. Or appreciate them."

Quinn raised a brow at her, looking back at the screen. "I just think it'd be ideal to be with someone who understood you without having to constantly explain things."

Rachel could see the appeal, but she was also a romantic at heart. To her, true love would prevail no matter the hardships. Finn flashed in her mind, although she wasn't sure if it was brought on by Quinn's words or her own thoughts. He was a lot of things, but perceptive was not one of them.

Rachel was notably distracted for the rest of the movie. They were seemingly at an impasse, so she dropped it. There was a part of her that wanted to ask about Finn, but the other part of her was afraid to tread into that conversation again after tonight's events.

Once the credits had rolled, Rachel stood up to turn the TV off.

"So…" Quinn started, "Where should I sleep?"

Rachel hummed for a moment. "You can sleep in my bed. I mean, we have a guest room if you'd really prefer that." She kind of liked the idea of having an authentic sleepover experience, in the same room and all. But that was a little embarrassing to admit.

"Where are you sleeping, then?"

"The floor is comfortable enough. I'll just have to gather some blankets." She made the move to retrieve said bedding before she felt a touch on her arm.

"Your bed is big enough for two people. Let's just share it." Quinn was unexpectedly firm.

Rachel blinked, moving to sit down on the bed again. "You're okay with that?"

"Well, as long as you don't snore too loudly," Quinn teased, hazel eyes glinting with amusement.

"There won't be an issue, then," Rachel retorted, moving to slip under the covers and lay down on her side of the bed. Quinn followed suite, and for a moment Rachel was afraid everything would become terribly awkward.

"Thanks." Rachel looked over to Quinn, who had turned to face her. Her voice was quiet, and Rachel almost missed it.

"For what?"

"I don't know – you always try to be my friend. Even when I…" Quinn trailed off, worrying her lip beneath her teeth. "I'm not good at opening up to people."

"I've noticed," Rachel said, amused.

Quinn let out a small laugh at that. Rachel grinned in return, before leaning over to switch the lamp off. The only light that illuminated them was from the moon through the window.

"God, tonight was a disaster," Quinn murmured after a few moments. Rachel squinted, trying her best to see Quinn's features in the dim light.

"It really was," Rachel agreed, nodding against her pillow. She thought about her words carefully before she continued. "If it makes you feel any better, I think you deserved to win prom queen."

"Don't flatter me, Rachel," Quinn let out a self-deprecating laugh. "I was so focused on winning, and I thought if I had aligned everything perfectly… well, that obviously didn't happen. I was just fooling myself."

"There's always next year," Rachel tried to hold down the guilt that was threatening to overcome her _._ Everything was so messy between them.

Rachel's skin pricked as she felt eyes staring pointedly at her despite the darkness. "To have any chance of winning, you need a partner. Well," Quinn continued wryly, "At least that's what I thought until Kurt's name was announced."

"That was a cruel joke, but I'm glad he took it in stride," Rachel murmured. She was distracted by the first part of Quinn's statement. "You're making it sound like you won't be dating anyone next year."

"Are you kidding?" Quinn laughed coldly, and Rachel flinched. "Finn's going to break up with me any day now."

Rachel's stomach churned. "Finn cares about you. How can you be so sure?"

"You must be aware of how he looks at you. He's not exactly subtle about it," Quinn let out a defeated sigh. "Besides… I'm not sure if Finn and I are meant to be more than just a high school relationship."

There was a time Rachel would be beyond exuberant to hear all these things. But somehow, she only felt a confusing swirl of sadness and longing and guilt. She found herself at a very rare loss of words.

"You picked the corsage, didn't you?"

Suddenly Rachel felt more awake. "Uh, no – of course not–"

"Don't lie to me, Rachel." Quinn sounded weary.

"Well…" she hedged, fiddling with her blanket nervously. "I may have given him some advice."

"Figures." Quinn was quiet for a while, and Rachel waited in trepidation. "I just… sometimes I wonder if I'll find someone who actually cares about me."

Rachel scooted a little closer, her brows knitted. "Of course you will. I do." She could only barely see the smile on Quinn's face in the dark, but it was one that was filled with vulnerability. Maybe it was the fact that Rachel had already seen her cry tonight, or that it was so late, but it felt like a rare sight regardless.

"Noted," Quinn's smile had spilled into her voice. The blonde hesitated for a moment. "You know… you could do so much better than Finn."

Now it was Rachel's turn to be bothered. "Could I? Because if you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly popular, or incredibly pretty, like you. Sometimes I ramble too much, and I'm selfish. Finn understands that."

"Then why didn't he date you when he had the chance? Face it, Rachel. Finn just wants the girl he's not actually with at the time."

Rachel struggled to come up with a response that wouldn't end in an argument. She wanted to make Quinn feel better, not fight about boys. "Let's just drop it, okay? He's still your boyfriend."

The blonde relented with slight reluctance, leaning heavily against the bed. "You're right, sorry. I just… thought my prom would go a lot more romantically."

Rachel smiled knowingly. "I expected a little more kissing, myself – but, well, seeing as I don't even have a boyfriend at the moment, I guess that wasn't in the stars for me." She nudged Quinn playfully. "But this isn't a terrible alternative, right?"

Quinn made a noise of amusement but didn't look at her. "It's not the worst. So, you and St. James aren't going for round two?"

"Oh, um – no, we were just going as friends." Rachel hoped she didn't have to explain that she mostly said yes because of Finn (and Quinn).

"Good. He was a jerk," Quinn murmured, her voice starting to betray drowsiness. "You're way too forgiving."

"Maybe," Rachel said softly. "I believe in second chances."

Quinn didn't reply outright, just made a noise to signify that she heard. Rachel thought this was a suitable end of the conversation, and she was getting sleepy, herself. So, she rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling. "Goodnight, Quinn," she whispered into the dark, closing her eyes.

When Quinn didn't reply immediately, Rachel assumed she had already fallen asleep. She was feeling herself drift when she felt a movement on the mattress next to her. Rachel blinked confusedly when a presence disturbed the air above her.

Before she could think of anything to say, her heart startled when she saw Quinn's face so close to hers. The blonde's eyes were reaching so intently into her own that she didn't move, nor did she want to speak anymore. Her heartbeat felt so loud. Maybe she had fallen asleep and she was just having a dream that felt very, very real.

But that theory went out the window the moment Quinn leaned closer, pressing her lips so softly against Rachel's that she felt dazed. Soft curls of blonde hair tickled against her cheek. Rachel's eyes inadvertently closed again as Quinn pressed a little more firmly, and maybe it was partly exhaustion, but her limbs felt light and all she could focus on was wherever her body met Quinn's.

 _Wow_ , Rachel thought fuzzily as Quinn pulled away. She didn't pull back completely, though, and Rachel looked up into warm hazel eyes with wide brown ones. Her immediate reaction was to pull Quinn back in, but she quickly quelled that urge. She wasn't sure if that was appropriate.

"Goodnight, Rachel," Quinn's voice sounded warmer than Rachel had ever heard it. Then, the blonde pulled away completely, settling on her side of the bed turned the other way, and left Rachel to try to calm her frantic heart down.

Rachel licked her lips, confusion settling in quickly. She didn't know how she was supposed to interpret _that_. Was Quinn making a move on her? Was it just to make Rachel feel better? Maybe this is what usually happened at sleepovers between girls?

Okay, Rachel was _pretty_ sure that last one wasn't true. Then again, she didn't have a huge frame of reference.

Normally, Rachel was the type to overanalyze everything, and she really, really wanted to analyze this, but she was exhausted. So, she took a deep breath and attempted to relax. They could discuss this tomorrow, and everything would be figured out.

* * *

They didn't discuss it the next day.

In fact, Quinn had acted so normally the next morning, Rachel was having trouble deciding whether or not she had actually been dreaming. She had been too tired to get on her elliptical in the morning, but she was still an early riser and thus went to shower while she let Quinn sleep. By the time she had finished, Quinn was awake.

They didn't get much of a chance to talk before Quinn had asked to have a turn in the bathroom to freshen up, and then her dads called them down for breakfast.

Rachel spent all of breakfast staring, but the blonde hadn't reacted to her at all. Well, she partook in casual conversation, but it was so casual that Rachel was left reeling. Then again, she didn't particularly want to bring up last night with her dads around, either.

Before she knew it, Quinn was standing in the foyer with a small smile. "Well, I should get going."

"Do you need a ride?" That would be perfect time to have a real conversation!

"No... no, it's fine. Finn is picking me up." Oh.

Rachel felt a stab of jealousy. "I see. Thank you for coming," she tried to smile normally, but it came out tighter than she intended.

"Well, thanks for being a good host." Quinn had moved to grab her dress in the bag she was borrowing. Her tone was teasing and light, and confusion stirred in Rachel's chest again.

Quinn had turned to open the door, but Rachel reached out to touch her arm. "Wait – Quinn –" Rachel stumbled over her words when the blonde turned, her face suddenly unreadable.

"What?"

Rachel flushed, afraid she had misinterpreted the friendly tone from earlier. "I just wanted to…"

 _Spit it out, Rachel!_

"I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed myself," she said nervously. It was true, but it wasn't what she wanted to say. She wanted to ask about last night!

Quinn looked at her strangely. "Okay."

Rachel's shoulders sunk as she watched Quinn leave. She never should've said anything.

Her dad approached moments later, glancing outside the window that Rachel was standing by forlornly. They watched the blonde enter the car together. "So… that girl is a friend of yours? Quinn, was it?"

"Yes, daddy." She hoped he hadn't recognized her from past conversations; she tried to avoid talking about any _negative_ school experiences like bullying with her fathers, but sometimes it slipped out.

"She seemed polite at the kitchen table. Why are you looking so gloomy?"

Rachel suddenly pulled herself away from the window. "I'm not. I'm fine," she proclaimed, waving her arms as if to dispel any negative feelings.

"This doesn't happen to be the girl that you fought with over Finn, does it?" Leroy raised a brow at her.

"She is – but it's okay! We're friends," she hesitated to add _I think_ , so she didn't. "I respect her relationship with Finn."

Her dad looked unconvinced, but he wasn't the type to push. "If you say so."

Once her dad had left her alone, she wasn't sure what to do with herself. It was a Saturday, so she didn't have any pressing matters to attend to. Perhaps she could do homework as a productive distraction.

She returned to her room and tried to focus on her homework, managing to get through quite a bit of it before her phone buzzed, catching her attention.

It was a number that had never texted her first, although she had made a point of adding every Glee member into her phone's contacts because she was a good captain. So, her heart palpitated at the name _Quinn_ that appeared on her screen.

 ** _I had a good time, too. -Q_**

* * *

It was Monday before she knew it. Rachel hadn't even thought about what would change at school after such an eventful prom, but there were _definitely_ changes at McKinley High.

She saw Brittany and Santana striding through the hall with elbows linked, for one. They were always a little bit touchy, but now they appeared to be even closer.

Kurt, similarly, was carrying himself with more confidence as he walked the halls alongside Mercedes. They exchanged a friendly wave when he walked by.

And then she saw Quinn. And Finn. She wasn't even going to try to untangle the confusing feelings that twisted within her. She didn't _really_ intend to see them, but Quinn's locker was in the same hall as hers. They were embracing, briefly, before Quinn had wrapped her arm around his and they walked off.

Maybe the status quo wasn't too shaken.

Distracted, Rachel dropped the binder she had been retrieving from her locker and jumped. With a sigh, she leaned down to pick it up.

Just the other day she would've had to look away because it hurt to see them together. Well, it still hurt, but before it was easily decipherable because she knew she wanted Finn. But now there was _Quinn –_ maybe – and it was all so _confusing._

She had always sympathized with Quinn despite their differences, but she also believed Finn was meant to be with _her_ , not Quinn. The thought made her chest tight with guilt now, knowing Quinn's feelings on the matter.

And then there was _prom night!_ She still didn't understand where the kiss came from. She never thought of herself as someone with latent sapphic leanings, but she didn't exactly dislike the sensation of Quinn's lips on hers.

She threw her face into her hands. Having a crush on a boy with a girlfriend was one thing, but harboring a crush on a boy _and_ his girlfriend was another thing altogether. Now _that_ would be unacceptable.

Maybe she just was so enthusiastic about becoming friends with Quinn that she was simply mistaking it for romantic feelings.

A hand waved in front of her face. "Hello? Earth to Rachel?"

"Oh! Hi, Kurt!" Cue nervous laughter. "I thought you'd gone to class already."

"Yes, well, since we share the same first period I noticed your absence. I didn't expect to find you still standing here, in midst of a breakdown. Should I leave you to it?" He peered at her.

"I am not having a breakdown. I was just… thinking," she muttered somewhat petulantly.

"Right, I also think with my hands covering my face," he said breezily. "You might want to postpone thinking if you want to get to class on time, though."

It wasn't until now that she realized that the hallways were largely cleared out, other than for a few stragglers. "Oops." She began walking alongside Kurt, a little hurriedly. "Thanks for coming to get me."

"Where would you be without me?" He teased.

Rachel managed to get through most of the day with no other breakdowns, as Kurt would call it. She was still more distracted in class than usual, but overall, she paid attention to the teachers' lessons.

She couldn't help but seek out Quinn with her eyes in the class they shared fourth period, but whatever she was looking for wasn't returned. The blonde had been turned away, mid-conversation with Santana. Rachel pulled her books closer to her chest before taking her usual spot near the front of the class.

It was foolish of her, really. Of course nothing was going to change between her and Quinn Fabray.

Rachel pointedly kept her eyes on the front of the room for the rest of class.

The bell rang, and Rachel started gathering her things when she felt a light tap on her shoulder. She turned her head, wide eyes meeting Quinn's. "Is there something you need?" She tried to push down the hopeful, fluttery feelings threatening to rise.

"What, I can't just say hello?" Quinn sounded amused.

"Well, you haven't really made it a habit," Rachel licked her suddenly dry lips. "But I wouldn't complain if you did."

Quinn smirked. "I'll keep that in mind," she said as she sat down on the table Rachel had cleared her stuff from. "But I just wanted to tell you that I have the pajamas and bag I borrowed in my locker. I washed the PJs, of course."

Rachel blinked. "Oh. Yes, I almost forgot about them. When do you want to…?"

"You can just walk with me to my locker now, right? Our lockers are nearby, so."

"Yes, I suppose they are." Rachel stood up, clutching her books. The two walked down the hall together, and Rachel tried to ignore the people who shot curious glances at the pair.

"You'd think they know we're in Glee together," Rachel grumbled quietly.

Quinn shrugged. "Let them gawk."

Rachel tried not to stare too obviously at the blonde as they walked. Evidently _something_ had changed, at least compared to sophomore year, because back then Quinn wouldn't risk any popularity by hanging out with the likes of Rachel Berry.

Once they arrived at Quinn's locker, Rachel waited as she unlocked it. She peeked at the inside when it opened and tried not to frown when she noticed a picture of her face was covered by a magnet. She could admire how neat it was, at least.

"Here," Quinn said, drawing her attention as she handed her the bag with the pajamas presumably inside.

"Thanks," Rachel murmured quietly, noting that it smelled slightly like the blonde. It seemed to be a good opportunity to ask about that night. "Quinn… could we talk –"

"Not now, Rachel," Quinn cut her off, a nervous lilt to her voice. It was almost a snap, and Rachel shrunk away slightly. "I have to get to my next class," she must have noticed Rachel's reaction, because she seemed apologetic. "See you in Glee?"

Rachel gathered the bag closer to herself and tried not to look disappointed. "See you in Glee," she echoed.

Quinn hesitated for a moment, but she left without another word.

* * *

Rachel had been on her way to the choir room before she was stopped by Finn.

"Hey, Rach," the tall boy greeted with a silly grin on his face.

"Hello, Finn," she returned amicably, fidgeting with her skirt as she spoke. Normally she'd be happy to converse with him, but she felt uneasy trepidation creeping its way through for reasons she couldn't grasp.

"So… you and Quinn had a sleepover?" He asked, and Rachel avoided his curious gaze.

"Um – well – we did, but how did you know?"

"I picked her up, remember?" He chuckled.

"Oh. So you did," she smiled. She had been so nervous she'd forgotten.

"It's nice to see you two getting along," he said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head with a smile. "It kinda surprised me, though."

Rachel held back the urge to grimace at his last statement. _Why does everyone act like it's impossible for us to be friends? Jeez!_ "I don't really expect her to become my closest confidant or anything. I just thought it'd be nice to invite her over, since…" Well, since Finn got himself kicked out, but it seemed rude to say that to his face.

Finn frowned, catching her drift for once. "She was really mad at me. I had to apologize like ten times over text before she replied. I would have spent the rest of the night with her!"

"She didn't want you to?" None of this really came as a surprise, since Quinn had told her this, but the notion of hearing Finn's perspective intrigued her.

"Like I said, she barely texted me, until the morning anyway. I was afraid she was gonna be scary Quinn when I picked her up then, but she actually seemed okay, you know?"

Rachel wasn't sure how to interpret any of this, so she just let out a simple: "Oh."

"Anyway," the doofy grin was back. "I just wanted to thank you for giving me advice on that whole corsage thing. She was totally happy with it!"

"I'm glad," she said, her smile becoming forced. Her stomach churned guiltily again when she remembered the conversation she had with Quinn. _Why can't I just focus on Finn and stop thinking about Quinn's feelings? Argh!_

"You're really great with these things, Rach," he complimented her with a particular look in his eyes that made her feel guiltier, so she turned away.

"I'm here to help," she murmured quietly. "But we should get going. We'll be late to Glee."

"Sure thing," he responded easily, and the two walked towards the choir room together.

She really should have expected the look Quinn shot at them when they arrived, but now she was a little less certain what it meant. She supposed it was probably the usual meaning, which was _stay away from my boyfriend._

Finn went to sit beside Quinn, which wasn't a surprise, and Rachel sat in the only other empty seat next to Kurt and Tina since they were the last to arrive.

"Looks like we're all here," Mr. Schuester clapped his hands together. "We've got to start seriously rehearsing for Nationals, guys. This month and a half will fly by before we know it."

After he went on and some friendly banter went around, New Directions practiced for the rest of the period. Nothing was out of the ordinary. That is, until Rachel met eyes with Quinn from across the room, and the blonde offered her a timid smile that made her heart beat quicken.

She nearly stumbled over Puck's foot before he steadied her. "Whoa, babe. Take it easy."

Rachel giggled nervously and stepped away. She hazarded a glance back at Quinn, who had a brow arched. The blonde smirked at her before turning her attention back to the performance.

It was very easy to admit that she found Quinn attractive; heck, she found a lot of people attractive. Quinn was _very_ high up in that list. But she was so used to their usual relationship dynamic – rivals or terse friends, however you wanted to twist it – that she didn't know how to respond to a Quinn that gave her shy smiles and kissed her in the dark.

Besides, there was Finn, wasn't there? The one who Quinn was currently dating, the one who Rachel had a crush on… right?

Everything was very confusing.

* * *

Quinn was proving to be more slippery than Rachel anticipated. The rest of the week had similar results to Monday; Rachel would try to catch Quinn in a private moment to _talk_ , but the blonde was adept at coming up with sudden excuses or avoiding her in general.

Yes, Rachel could tell that Quinn wasn't eager to talk about it, but she always did best when able to communicate her feelings and work it out verbally. It was in her nature to confront things directly. The strangest thing was that when they were in a group, or just in a place where private conversation wasn't possible, Quinn treated her in a friendly manner.

By Friday, Rachel had all but given up on getting the blonde to speak to her. Well, at least until next week, then she'd give it another go – she was no quitter! But for now, she was going to give up and go use the bathroom before spending her lunch period not looking for a certain girl.

She opted to go to the bathroom near the teacher's lounge, because it was usually empty and that made it fantastic for post-slushie recovery – not that she got slushied that often nowadays, but it was still useful to know where the emptier bathrooms were.

Today that was not the case. When she entered the bathroom she walked into none other than Quinn Fabray herself, carefully touching up her makeup. For a moment, Rachel had considered leaving before she was spotted; she wasn't sure how many times she could bother Quinn this week before she got annoyed.

But Quinn had noticed her, as she just met eyes with her in the mirror.

"Hello," Rachel said with a little wave.

Quinn went back to applying her eyeliner. "Hi, Rachel. Why is it that we always end up in the bathroom at the same time?"

"I wasn't following you or anything, I just happen to prefer this bathroom," Rachel explained. "Though we do have an awful lot of coincidental bathroom get togethers, don't we? Maybe it's fate."

Quinn was stifling a smile as she shook her head. "I wish fate could pick a more sanitary place for us." She dug through her makeup case before pulling out a powder brush. "Are you sure you weren't following me? I've seen an awful lot of you lately."

"Um, no. I had no clue you were in here, I swear," Rachel said truthfully. This was her chance to bring it up! But she didn't want to make Quinn run away like a startled deer, either.

They stood in silence for a few moments, and Rachel was running through the pros and cons before the blonde spoke first. "Aren't you going to ask me something?"

"Like what?" Rachel said, her voice pitched higher than usual.

"The thing you've been trying to ask me all week."

Rachel paused. "Well, I was going to let you off the hook, but if you're giving me a chance to speak now, I'll gladly take the opportunity," she began, taking in a breath. Quinn rolled her eyes, leaning against the sink but Rachel went on unperturbed, "I mean, I had assumed by the way you were acting that you didn't want to talk about it, but it's been a week now, and I still feel – well, mystified might be a good word for it – from certain _events_ that occurred during prom night–"

"Rachel," Quinn interrupted with the corner of her lips turned up slightly. "Get to the point, or I'm taking the opportunity back."

"That's not fair," Rachel huffed, frowning. "I was just making sure you properly understood the context."

"The clock is ticking." Quinn tapped her wrist even though she wasn't wearing a watch, which would have made Rachel smile if she wasn't busy shortening her speech in her head.

"Okay, fine. I have some queries about the physical contact you initiated that night."

"What, the slap? I thought we already cleared the air about that." Rachel knew Quinn was smarter than this, and she also had a mischievous twinkle in her hazel eyes that made Rachel squint.

"No, not that!" The brunette waved her arms, exasperated. "Are you really going to make me say it?"

Quinn raised a thin brow. "Yes."

Rachel inhaled. "Okay then, why – why did you kiss me?"

At this point, Rachel had no clue what to expect; maybe the blonde would try to deny it, or maybe there was a perfect logical answer that Rachel couldn't comprehend. But Quinn didn't seem to have an answer either and stayed silent.

"Quinn?" Rachel prompted softly, urging her on.

Quinn glanced away, now, and Rachel waited. "Because, I… I don't know? You were being so sweet, and – well, if you were a boy, I'd definitely have kissed you at that point –" Rachel's eyes widened at this, but Quinn kept babbling to the floor. "But, well, you're a girl, so _obviously_ I wasn't planning on it – but then _you_ said you'd prefer a prom night with more kissing, so I thought…" Quinn was more flustered than Rachel had ever seen her, and seemed to lapse in her explanation, so the brunette stepped a little closer.

"That was theoretical – I wasn't – I wasn't trying to hint at anything," Rachel said nervously, but when Quinn frowned, she went on. "It's okay, Quinn."

"Is it?" Quinn peered at her, uncomfortable.

"Yes. If I can forgive a slap so easily, why would I take offense to a kiss?" Rachel asked, trying to lessen the tension with a smile. "It's… not like you like me or anything, right?" She tried to push her weirdly hopeful feelings aside.

Quinn suddenly relaxed. "Of course not," she declared with her chin raised. "I'm dating Finn. I just thought I was doing you a favor."

"Uh huh," Rachel nodded distractedly. She wanted to ask more questions, but –

"Well, there you go. You can stop stalking me now."

Rachel didn't even have time to act affronted before the blonde slipped past her, leaving her more unsatisfied than before they had the conversation. Quinn had been so open last week, not to mention smiling at her in Glee, that the glimpse of the old, defensive Quinn caught her off guard.

She didn't expect Quinn to suddenly have a crush on her, but the reasoning behind the kiss wasn't exactly solid either. Did Quinn really kiss people just to make them feel better? Somehow, Rachel doubted it.

Rachel sighed against the counter. That was that, then.

It wasn't too surprising when it was fourth period and Quinn wouldn't meet her eyes at all.

* * *

After a relatively uneventful weekend – she went shopping with Kurt and Blaine, but that was about it – she was back to school.

School had become slightly less enjoyable when she realized Quinn was avoiding her with newfound vigor. Even in Glee she wouldn't speak to Rachel unless she had to, and this time Rachel was out of ideas. At least Finn still treated her like a friend. She hung out with him on Thursday and tried not to feel like she was somehow to blame for how Finn acted too friendly with her, sometimes.

Despite that, she found herself not hanging out with him for the next two weeks while trying to pretend Quinn's withdrawal wasn't hurting her as much as it was.

But then everything was stirred up slightly when Mr. Schuester hired Jessie St. James as a consultant for nationals, and the Glee club volunteered to help plan and perform at the funeral of Sue Sylvester's sister _._ None of them had met her personally, but it was discomfiting to see Coach Sylvester look so lost, so they performed earnestly.

For once, all rivalries were put on standby.

Rachel was somber by the end and lingered a little longer before she exited the church. It was overcast outside, yet it somehow felt bright, too. Finn's truck was still in the parking lot, Rachel noticed absently, but then –

Then Quinn had suddenly jumped out of the vehicle, roughly slamming the door and storming off and Rachel was glad that she was not in a noticeable spot. She was honestly a little worried, but since they weren't really on speaking terms… well, her presence probably wouldn't be appreciated at the moment.

Instead, she ended up tentatively approaching Finn's truck, climbing into the passenger's side after knocking on the window. Finn had his head on the steering wheel, though he had acknowledged Rachel with a half-hearted smile.

"What happened?" She asked quietly. She had a few guesses, but it was probably best not to make assumptions.

"I broke up with her," he confessed sadly. "Me and her… I don't think we were meant to work out."

 _At a funeral?_ Rachel almost asked, but she didn't want to upset him further. She settled on the safer, "I'm sorry to hear that, Finn."

She hugged him carefully, troubled when her thoughts drifted to Quinn.

* * *

"How was the funeral?" Her dad, Hiram, asked as she quietly shut the front door.

"It was fine, dad," she replied, shucking off her shoes and placing them neatly in the closet. "I mean… it was sad, but it was nice - for a funeral."

"Do you want me to make you some tea?" He offered when she walked into the kitchen.

"Um, sure. I'll be up in my room if that's okay?"

"Of course it is, honey. I'll bring it up to you when it's ready," he said warmly, and Rachel hugged him gratefully before climbing the stairs up to her room.

Shutting the door behind her, she took her phone out of her coat before shedding it. She flopped unceremoniously on her bed. She finally took the time to process things.

She really hadn't expected anything eventful to happen today past the funeral, but Finn and Quinn breaking up was a big shake-up. Even though it _theoretically_ benefited her, she couldn't on good conscience celebrate their split.

She shut her eyes, the swirl of confusion and sadness and longing becoming all-too-familiar. She took in a breath, steeling herself, and grabbed her phone. Maybe Quinn was content to ignore her, but that didn't mean Rachel had to give up on their friendship!

Rachel didn't know how much she should let on, so she typed a simple message: **_How are you doing, Quinn?_**

She waited a few moments, wondering if the blonde was even going to respond at all. They didn't text each other too frequently – especially as of late – so Rachel had no clue how fast or slow her responses would be.

A knock at the door distracted her. "Come in!"

Her dad entered with a smile, carrying a hot cup of tea on a plate. He set it down on her nightstand, glancing down at her for a moment. "Do you need anything else? Or are you hiding away for a reason?" He joked.

"Dad," she whined. "I just wanted to relax, is all."

"I'm just teasing you," he squeezed her shoulder before stepping towards the door. "Leroy is bringing us takeout for supper, but you have a few hours before then."

"Okay," she replied. "Thanks for the tea."

Once he left, Rachel was quick to notice that a notification appeared on her phone.

 ** _Not great._**

Rachel responded quickly. **_Why is that? Is there anything I can do to help?_**

It took a few minutes before she got a reply. **_No. Why would you want to help, anyway? I haven't exactly been talking to you much for the past few weeks._**

She was close to typing _So you admit it!_ before deciding an accusatory tone wouldn't help. **_I want to help because I'm your friend, Quinn. Even when we're not talking for reasons unbeknownst to me, that doesn't alter the nature of our relationship._**

She sipped her tea absently as it finally cooled down enough to drink. But Quinn wasn't replying, and after ten minutes of waiting, Rachel texted again.

 ** _Please don't shut me out. Can I call you?_**

Quinn took her sweet time before replying: **_fine._**

So Rachel did, and to her surprise Quinn actually picked up within three rings. She cradled her phone to her head. "Hello?"

"Hi," Quinn responded, her tone not revealing much at all.

"Thank you for picking up," Rachel murmured. "So, why aren't you doing great?"

Quinn sounded somewhere between amused and annoyed. "I'm not exactly the type to start venting my feelings over the phone."

"Okay! So why don't we have a sleepover?" Admittedly she didn't really think too far past inviting her, but the more she considered it the better it seemed – she wanted her friend back! And they could eat vegan ice cream and cry about boys, or something.

"Rachel –" Rachel could very well imagine the blonde raising a brow. "Seriously?"

"Why not? It's Saturday."

"I mean, I'm not exactly in the mood, and…" she trailed off.

"I know you broke up with Finn," Rachel said quietly.

Now Rachel was positive the tone was one of annoyance. "How surprising. He told you already?"

"Quinn, I saw you leave his truck. He didn't need to tell me," she explained.

Quinn just sighed tiredly. "I guess it's hard to avoid keeping it public when he chose to do it _right after a funeral_."

"It isn't exactly one of his shining moments."

"That's an understatement."

Rachel found herself smiling, even though Quinn couldn't see it. "So, let me distract you! We can watch a comfort movie and eat junk food. Whatever you want."

"I'm… I think it'd be better if we didn't…" But she didn't sound so sure, so Rachel tried once more.

"Please, Quinn?" She pleaded, and before Quinn could reply she added quietly, "I – I miss you." Rachel bit her lip as soon as she said it – was she acting too clingy?

But her words seemingly broke Quinn's resolve. "Okay," she whispered. "Okay. When should I come over?"

Rachel couldn't help her beaming smile from spilling into her voice. "Maybe in an hour or two? I just want to shower and get everything prepared – and you can pack. I'll have food for you around the time you get here."

"Alright. See you then," Quinn murmured. She didn't sound too enthusiastic, but Rachel was happy to make up for it.

"See you soon!" The call ended with a beep, and Rachel leapt out of bed.

Rachel sped down the hall and nearly tripped down the stairs, but she managed to keep her balance. "Dad?" she called, peeking into the kitchen.

"I'm in the living room, honey," he called back, and Rachel quickly made a beeline towards him. She was fidgeting in a way that made her dad raise a brow. "Did you do something?"

"No! Well – nothing bad," she insisted, "I was just hoping that you'd be okay if Quinn came over for a sleepover – and well, I kind of already invited her so I would really prefer a yes, otherwise this will be incredibly awkward – and um, would it be okay if daddy picked up extra takeout?"

"Breathe, sweetheart," Hiram laughed. "I would appreciate getting a bigger heads up than you've been offering lately."

"I know, dad. Everything has been kind of spontaneous, but I'll make sure to plan better in the future. I'm really sorry."

He just smiled, a twinkle in his eyes. "Yes, she can come over. I'll call your father to let him know."

"Yay!" She squealed, giving him a quick hug before stepping back. "I'm going to go shower before she gets here."

Rachel skipped back up the stairs, arranging her things before she closed the door to her bathroom and got in the shower.

* * *

After suitably scrubbing herself and doing majority of her nightly routine, Rachel stepped out of her bathroom with her hair half-dry. Checking her clock on the nightstand, the bold 6:47PM blinked back at her. Quinn would likely be arriving soon.

Rachel went downstairs to wait. She ended up pacing around the kitchen until her dad attempted to distract her with a conversation, which she gladly fell for.

But then, a quiet knock at the door that was definitely not Leroy's made her crane her neck mid-ramble. "We'll continue this later, dad," she said before moving to answer the door. She had to take a deep breath to prepare herself before she opened the door with a broad smile.

"Hi, Rachel," Quinn greeted, a touch of nervousness on her features. She had a small overnight bag over her shoulder.

"Quinn! Come in!" Rachel stepped aside with a wave of her hand. She marvelled at the casual clothes the blonde was wearing, as if she hadn't seen her in ages, despite having seen her at the funeral earlier that day. "It's nice to see you," she said honestly.

Quinn bit her lip. "You, too."

Rachel wanted to hug her, but she really was at a loss when it came to where their boundaries lie. Especially recently. Instead, she continued talking. "So, my dad isn't home with the food yet, though he should be here soon. We can take your bag up to my room. For now." Rachel didn't elaborate on the _for now_ , but she supposed Quinn could take the guest room this time, if she really wanted.

"Sure," Quinn said easily, following Rachel up the stairs with a small wave at her dad as they passed the living room.

Rachel entered her room, flicking on the light as she let Quinn pass. She watched as Quinn set her bag on the bed, the blonde fiddling with it for a moment. Rachel moved to sit down on the edge of her bed, smiling towards the blonde.

"So, what do you want to do tonight?" Rachel piped up.

Quinn smirked, finally turning to look at her. "Rachel Berry doesn't have an itinerary?"

She huffed. "I don't know why everyone assumes I always have everything planned. I didn't have one for the first sleepover!"

Quinn shrugged, hazel eyes twinkling mischievously. "Well, I just thought you were caught off guard that time."

"No! In fact, I'm incredibly good at adjusting to spontaneity, and I –" Rachel narrowed her eyes as she noticed the blonde holding back laughter. "You're teasing me, aren't you?"

"Maybe," Quinn said simply, laughing harder as Rachel moved to push her playfully.

"Jerk," Rachel grumbled. "And here I thought you were in desperate need of consoling."

"Sorry. You're just easy to wind up sometimes," Quinn murmured, amused. "And I mean… your company helps."

Rachel's chest warmed at her words. But part of her wanted to ask, _then why do you keep avoiding me_ , yet she was afraid that if she voiced that Quinn would regret coming. Despite her playfulness, Rachel was certain Quinn was at least feeling somewhat hurt, even if she never liked to show it.

"So do you – do you want to talk about it?"

Quinn wrinkled her nose. "Not particularly," she admitted. "At least… not right now."

"Well, the offer always stands. I'll have you know I'm an _excellent_ listener." Rachel nodded once, as if to emphasize her words.

"Noted," Quinn smiled. She settled down more comfortably against Rachel's bed, moving her overnight bag aside to the foot of it. "Anyway," she tilted her head towards Rachel in a way that charmed the brunette, "We could just watch a movie? It worked out okay last time."

"Of course! Do you have one in mind, or…?"

"Go ahead," Quinn replied. "I trust you won't pick anything too awful."

"Do you really?" Rachel asked with a grin.

"Maybe," Quinn leaned forward. "Depends on what you end up choosing."

Rachel let out a hum of amusement. "Is that a challenge?"

Before Quinn had time to respond, a knock at her door distracted the both of them. "Come in," Rachel called.

Her dads opened the door and walked into the room, carrying two boxes of takeout. "Food's here, honey," Hiram sang as they handed the food along with eating utensils to the two girls. They took it gratefully.

"Thanks, daddy," Rachel beamed at Leroy, and Quinn fidgeted next to her. Rachel turned to her, bemused. "What's wrong?" She stage-whispered in Quinn's direction.

"I can pay for mine," Quinn said nervously.

"Nonsense, Quinn. You're our guest," Leroy replied firmly, and smiled in a disarming manner. The blonde relaxed a little, but never seemed completely at ease. Her dads made their way back to the door, Leroy stopping for a moment. He glanced at Quinn and he looked like he wanted to say something else, but settled with: "You two enjoy yourselves."

"We will," Rachel chimed back, a little perplexed. Once her dads shut the door, she looked towards Quinn and set the takeout aside for the moment. "You don't have to be scared of my fathers. They're harmless," she assured the blonde.

"I'm not _scared_ of them," Quinn argued. "Just… intimidated."

"You don't have to be intimidated either," Rachel placed her hand on Quinn's reassuringly.

Quinn looked down at their hands, briefly, before biting her lip. "I just want to make a good impression," she said quietly.

"I'm sure you have. You're very charming, Quinn," Rachel paused. "When you're not being mean."

Quinn glared at her, and Rachel laughed, if only because she could see Quinn's lips twitching upwards. "Go find a movie, or I'll show you how _mean_ I can be."

 _Somehow, that threat doesn't seem to hold its usual weight_ , Rachel thought to herself, but hopped off the bed to search for a movie anyway.

* * *

They ended up watching _Twilight,_ to which Quinn had quirked a brow and asked _– seriously? –_ to which Rachel had nodded with a wide grin. The blonde acquiesced easily enough with a roll of her eyes, and they set out the food to eat throughout the movie.

They paused in the middle to get into their pajamas and settled more comfortably in Rachel's bed, laying side by side. The light was turned off, offering a cozier atmosphere. Rachel would smile brightly towards Quinn from time to time, usually resulting in a badly suppressed smile, a shake of a head, or ' _watch the movie'_ mouthed with an index finger pointing at the TV.

As the credits began to roll, Rachel stretched her arms and glanced at her alarm clock. It wasn't exactly late, and she wasn't tired, so she looked back at Quinn. "Should I find another movie?"

"Sure." Quinn sat up to take a sip of the water she had beside her. "I'm not really tired."

"If you say so," Rachel slid off the bed, finding _New Moon_ and putting it into the DVD player. Once she had set it up, she crawled back into her spot next to Quinn. Seeing the blonde in her bed still felt surreal, if she had to admit it, but it also felt _right._ Who said they couldn't be close friends?

"Are you on a _Twilight_ kick or something?" Quinn asked with a small smile. "Or do you have a crush on Robert Pattinson?"

"No," Rachel replied slowly. "I just thought it was appropriate, seeing as we aren't exactly full of movie plans. Also, once you start something, you should finish it, even if the acting is subpar at best –" Rachel stopped herself before she went on a very long tangent about something she doubted Quinn cared about. Instead, she concluded with, "If you want to choose a different movie, go ahead."

"It's fine, Rachel," Quinn laughed, and Rachel couldn't resist smiling at the sound. "Mindless entertainment sounds good to me for tonight."

They watched quietly for awhile, until Quinn turned towards Rachel, her cheek pressing against her pillow. The movement caught Rachel's attention, their eyes meeting. "So… vampires or werewolves?" Quinn asked casually.

"Oh, that's easy. Vampires, at least in the _Twilight_ universe."

"Why?"

Rachel wasn't sure where Quinn's sudden chattiness came from, but she wasn't going to complain. "Well, I'm partial to anything that glitters, so I'd be quite enamored if someone sparkled in the sun."

Quinn giggled in a way Rachel was sure she'd never heard before, without an ounce of cruelness. "Really? I think it's stupid."

Rachel's smile widened, and she leaned a little closer. "Wouldn't it suit me, though?"

Quinn blinked, glancing back towards the television screen. "It certainly would," she mumbled.

They continued watching, mostly in silence – although Rachel couldn't resist saying quips once in awhile – which Quinn didn't respond to. She got distracted when she noticed that Quinn had begun to move restlessly next to her. At first, she thought the blonde was just finding a comfortable position, but when it kept happening, she looked at Quinn.

"Is something the matter?" Rachel asked, concerned.

Quinn sat up, staring at Rachel so seriously that the brunette felt hot under her gaze. She was about to stammer nervously, but Quinn spoke first. "I'm sorry for avoiding you," she suddenly blurted out.

"I'm sure you have your reasons," Rachel murmured, and as always, she had to struggle with the very _Rachel Berry_ urge to question further. She licked her lips. "I mean – I wish you'd just talk to me." She meant that in more ways than one. "But I understand."

"No, Rachel. You always try so hard with me – even though I – well, even though I keep running away with no explanation. I'm sorry. I kind of suck at the friendship thing."

Rachel couldn't stop herself from protesting. "No, you don't –"

Quinn hushed her, putting a finger to her lips. The expression on her face looked so sincere that Rachel kept her mouth shut. "Let me do the rambling for once, okay? After our last sleepover on prom night I thought… I got a little scared after – you know – but I also thought maybe me and Finn didn't have to break up. If I tried harder, or something. And I _did_ , but he still kept…" She sucked her cheeks in, shaking her head. "He likes you."

Rachel exhaled shakily, a small thrill running through her that quickly dissipated into familiar guilt. The movie playing in the background was merely distant noise. "But why avoid _me_? Are you… upset with me?"

Quinn broke eye contact, tugging at a blanket absently. "Not at you. Not really. I don't know." She took a deep breath before locking eyes with Rachel again. "Are you going to date him?"

Rachel stiffened, thoroughly unprepared for this question and it wasn't one she could think of an answer for quickly. At least – an answer that Quinn wouldn't hate. "I mean," she started hesitantly, "It's up to him, really. He's the one who broke up with me, after all. But he just finished a relationship, so I don't know if he'd be ready –"

"Rachel," Quinn murmured, and the brunette stopped mid-sentence. "Just answer this. If he asked you out, would you say yes?"

Now Rachel was really at a loss. It felt like a trap no matter which way she tried to answer. Because yes, part of her would say yes if only because Finn was one of the few people who gave her attention romantically, and she knew she was quick to cling onto someone like that. On the other hand – there was _Quinn_ , her friend who just broke up with him – but also, maybe she found herself harboring a tiny, insignificant crush on said friend that she doubted was reciprocated, so really, what was the point in acknowledging that? And really, were her feelings that easily manipulated that she could crush on someone just because they kissed her once?

Apparently.

"You're taking awfully long to answer what should be a 'yes' or 'no' question," Quinn interrupted her thoughts. Hazel eyes searched hers, and Rachel was scared that she was missing something.

Rachel tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "As of right now? Probably not. Because you two just broke up. But, um… later? Maybe," she hedged, and almost regretted her honesty the minute she saw the faintest look of hurt on Quinn's face.

"Typical." Before she knew it, Quinn's eyes had steeled into cold indifference and it was like looking at a different person.

Rachel frowned. "I thought you established you and Finn weren't meant to be."

"I did," Quinn scoffed, "I just… what do you see in him? God."

Rachel moved closer, but the blonde dodged her gaze. "I still don't see why you have to avoid me because of it. I'm not going to go run into his arms, okay? If it happens sometime in the future, it happens. I'm not going to force it, but I respected your relationship despite any misgivings I may have had, so… I hope you'll respect any I may end up in."

Quinn pursed her lips, as if she was thinking of a myriad of responses. "That's not why I was avoiding you," she muttered under her breath, and Rachel's ears barely caught the words. Quinn's annoyance seemed to melt into petulance.

Rachel wanted to tear her hair out, a little bit, because Quinn had a way of saying things without _actually_ saying what she meant behind those words and it really did feel like being spun in circles. It was evident, at the very least, that Quinn would never be a fan of _Rachel and Finn_ even if _Quinn and Finn_ wasn't happening.

But she didn't want to keep arguing about it. It happened way too often for her liking. "You're so confusing," Rachel settled on saying with a placating smile. She looked over at the movie, which was rolling the credits. "Hang on, I'm going to turn the TV off." Rachel moved to switch on the bedside lamp, turning off the TV and settling back into her spot, laying down and facing Quinn.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about the breakup?" Rachel asked quietly, the warm light of the lamp and the quiet of the room leaving the atmosphere more intimate than before.

Quinn sighed into her pillow, her eyes shut. "What else is there to say? I wasn't in love with him, and I knew it was coming, so…" She trailed off, before opening her eyes and looking at Rachel. "I guess this is me being taught a lesson, huh? I try so hard to control things, but it never goes my way," she said with a sad smile.

Rachel couldn't help but grab Quinn's hand, her thumb running along the smooth skin. "It's okay, Quinn," she whispered between them. "We're in high school. There's plenty of time to make mistakes and learn from them."

"I'm doing great, then," Quinn said dryly.

"You _are,_ " Rachel stressed fervently, squeezing her hand. "You meet all these challenges and you just come back stronger. You're amazing."

Quinn's eyebrows knitted together, and she worried her lip. "Why do you always compliment me like that?"

"Because I think that even when you pretend that you're fine, you actually need encouragement and kind words. Sometimes it's just nice to hear that someone believes in you."

"God," Quinn let out a watery laugh, and there were tears, now. "You always make me feel even worse about flipping out on you. I should be making things up to you, instead."

Rachel moved her hand to gently wipe Quinn's tears with a thumb. "In that case, I have a suggestion," she said with a wide smile.

"'Course you do," Quinn smiled back.

"Promise me you won't avoid me anymore?"

"Okay," Quinn whispered after a moment's hesitation. "I'll try."

Trying was good enough for Rachel. She raised a pinky, nodded at Quinn encouragingly, and the blonde laughed as they sealed the promise.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** AKA Quinn thinks too much, the chapter. *shakes fist*

* * *

 **the state of dreaming - chapter two**

* * *

Junior year was almost a complete failure, in Quinn's eyes. Junior prom had just been icing on that particular cake.

The only thing keeping her from removing the _almost_ was the fact that she somehow ended up becoming friends with _Rachel Berry_ of all people despite not treating her particularly nicely. She didn't insult her anymore, but they still argued, mostly about Finn.

So, no, it was never really a goal to befriend Rachel – maybe in her wildest dreams – she was more preoccupied with reclaiming her old self now that she was no longer pregnant and do it better this time around. Her other impromptu goal was pushing Rachel towards her future, which mostly involved keeping Finn away from her. By dating him.

Unfortunately, it turned out a relationship with two uninterested occupants was doomed to fail. Sure, he was interested in the beginning, but Finn's love was a fickle thing. Quinn had meekly hoped, once, that her and Finn could be a white-picket-fence kind of family, and Rachel could go on to be the star she was, and Quinn could be satisfied with that. Even if she didn't entirely love Finn the way she should.

And maybe she should be ashamed it took herself so long to wonder why she was so personally invested in Rachel's future. But as a Fabray, it came to her naturally; avoid addressing things until they became so obvious you had to push them out of sight.

So, yes, maybe somewhere throughout her perfectly planned junior year she started to have feelings for Rachel Berry. She could roll with the punches (okay, maybe she hyperventilated once, or twice, or a dozen times when she realized). That didn't mean she had to _act on it_ , until she did, and suddenly denial was a lot harder when it was Rachel – the girl who forgave way too easily and wouldn't give up on someone unless they physically shoved her away.

And then she had _promised_ to stop avoiding her, which was very, very foolish but there was no saying no to a hopeful, smiling Rachel. It was fine, other than the searing jealousy she felt at the notion of a _Finchel_ encore and the fact that she wanted to kiss Rachel. Again. It wasn't even supposed to happen the first time!

There were other things to worry about, too. The end of the school year was upon them and Nationals were only two weeks away. The Glee club arranged two extra rehearsal periods for the last month, including Friday after school, which they were in the middle of. Everyone was a little stressed, especially –

"No, no, no! Finn, you have to get this move _just right._ We'll practice it again, okay? And Mercedes! Don't think I didn't notice you slacking off over there!"

Especially Rachel.

"Girl, give us a break. Mr. Schue couldn't even make it to this practice," Mercedes complained.

Rachel patted Finn's shoulder, mouthing _'keep practicing!'_ before addressing Mercedes. "Yes, which means he put me in charge – this is no time to be lazy! Nationals is in two weeks!"

"I _know_ ," she retorted, "as if this isn't the thousandth time I've heard it this week."

"Two. Weeks." Rachel punctuated each word for emphasis.

Rachel began to go on a tirade about work ethic and Nationals and winning. Quinn watched, amused, until she heard Artie rolling up beside her in his wheelchair. "You should convince Rachel to give us a ten minute break," he suggested.

"Why me?" She smiled, looking down at him. "If I go up to her she'll probably lecture _me_ about how my voice sounds terrible or something."

"No, she won't. You should give it a try – you're the only one she occasionally listens to. Do it for the team."

"I think you're putting too much faith in me," she laughed, but inwardly she kind of liked the idea that she was the one sent to 'deal'with Rachel.

"Go on," Artie encouraged. "Tina looks like she's going to fall over, and Santana has been glaring daggers at Rachel. I'm afraid without supervision she'll act on it."

"You owe me," Quinn returned playfully. He just gave her two thumbs up as she walked across the stage to talk to Rachel. By the time she reached them, Kurt had joined the fray, and the three of them tried to make themselves heard.

"May I interject? Rachel does raise some good points, Mercedes –"

"No one asked you, Kurt! I know you just _love_ to take Rachel's side nowadays, but can I remind you –"

"I want us to be _better_ than perfect at Nationals! I'm just gently trying to encourage everyone to be at their best, is that a crime?"

Quinn felt a headache coming on. She quietly drew close to Rachel's side, nudging her gently to get her attention. Rachel's mouth was open as if she was just waiting to continue arguing, but she relaxed a little when she noticed it was Quinn. Shooting a glare in Mercedes' direction, she turned to the blonde. "Is there something you need, Quinn? I'm a little busy."

"I can see that," she smiled, shaking her head when she heard Mercedes and Kurt continue whispering heatedly at each other. "Don't you think we could use a fifteen minute break?" Maybe she was pushing it by suggesting _fifteen_ instead of _ten_ , but it was true that they were practicing a lot lately.

Rachel looked unhappy, like she wanted to protest, and Quinn was intrigued when the diva didn't immediately follow that urge. "Do you think I'm a bad leader?" Rachel asked instead, uncertainty written all over her features.

"You're passionate," Quinn corrected. "That's not a _bad_ thing, but everyone's wound up. A break couldn't hurt." Briefly surveying the room, she found out that, yes, Santana was giving a fearsome death glare in their direction, and Finn was messing up his moves, and Puck was smirking at his phone, and Kurt and Mercedes were _still_ bickering – everyone was losing focus in one way or another. "In fact, I think we'd be better off."

"If you say so," Rachel mumbled reluctantly. Quinn squeezed her shoulder in an attempt to pacify her, and Rachel smiled despite herself. Quinn tried to ignore the flutter inside her chest at the sight.

Rachel stepped away after a moment, raising her hand. "Okay, everyone! Let's take a fifteen minute break! Please ensure you're back on stage by 4:27, or _else!_ "

"Finally!" Santana exclaimed from the back of the stage, and the sentiment was shared by the majority of the Glee club members by the looks on their faces. She met Quinn's eyes and beckoned her over, and the blonde took her time walking over. Quinn couldn't help but chuckle when she noticed Artie giving her another thumbs up when she passed.

"Hey, Q, don't look so excited to see me," the Latina said sarcastically from her seat on the bleachers.

"Hi, Quinn!" Brittany waved from beside Santana, unperturbed as always.

"Hi, Brittany," Quinn smiled, before turning back to Santana. "What do you want, Santana?"

"Nothing, really," she shrugged innocently, "I just wanted to congratulate you on being a miracle worker."

"What?" Quinn face twisted into a frown but caught her drift soon enough. "Oh. Are you talking about Rachel?"

"Who else?"

"She's really not that hard to talk to," Quinn raised a brow.

"She's not hard to talk to. But getting her to _listen_ to you is a whole 'nother ballgame. I was telling Brit here that we should call you 'The Dwarf Whisperer'," Santana sniggered, and Brittany nodded emphatically.

"Very clever," Quinn said wryly. She resisted the immediate instinct to defend the brunette.

"Anyways, _chica._ I'm going to go enjoy my thirteen minutes of freedom," she stepped off the bleachers, reaching her hand out. "B? You coming?"

Brittany grabbed her hand, giggling. "Let's go hang out in the janitor's closet!"

Santana reddened at that, shooting a quick look at Quinn as if daring her to say something before she made her way out of the auditorium with Brittany, their hands linked. Most of the members had filtered out for the break, although Rachel, Kurt, and Finn remained.

Quinn stretched her arms before sitting down on the bleachers that were now unoccupied. She closed her eyes, embracing the relative quiet on the stage. Hushed voices conversed before eventually quieting, and Quinn didn't bother to try discerning the words.

It wasn't too long after that she heard footsteps approaching, and she opened her eyes only to see a fidgeting Rachel, her fingers playing with the pleats of her skirt. By now, Quinn had figured out it was an anxious tic.

"What's wrong?" Quinn asked, patting the spot beside her.

Rachel sat down, her features marred with frown lines. "Kurt thinks I should apologize to Mercedes," she muttered grumpily.

It was a little funny, Quinn had to admit, how differently Rachel conducted herself when it came to Glee club. Her inner diva really made itself known, she supposed.

"Maybe you should," Quinn said carefully. She was aware Rachel wouldn't like that answer, but Mercedes was her friend, too.

Rachel crossed her arms. "Why?" She huffed, "Was I out of line for wanting her to put effort into her performance? She got her break in the end."

Quinn leaned back, looking at Rachel. "You know Mercedes hates when people imply that she's lazy," she murmured. "You don't want her plotting your demise when we're in New York, or something."

"You're supposed to be on my side," Rachel grumbled to the floor.

Quinn laughed, clear and soft. She moved her hand over Rachel's, squeezing her palm until resistant brown eyes met hers. "I _am_ on your side. We want Glee club to be united, though, don't we?"

Rachel forcefully exhaled, causing her bangs to blow in the air. " _Fine_. I'll talk to her when she comes back – on one condition."

Quinn humored her. "Okay?"

"You have to come over for a movie night," Rachel said insistently. "…After I ask my dads, but I'm sure they'll say yes."

"Why am I suddenly a bargaining chip?"

"Because I'm feeling stressed and outnumbered today, and you're going to make me feel better."

"Someone's being a little bossy," Quinn's lips turned upwards, and that incessant fluttering was happening again. She nudged Rachel's foot before crossing her legs. "If you want to argue about Finn, we can just do it here instead of in your bed."

"I would rather not!" Rachel scowled at her, but a smile graced her lips not too long after, so Quinn knew it was okay. "In fact, I am _banning_ any mention of Finn at the Berry household tonight."

"Whoa, she's serious," Quinn teased, laughing as Rachel swatted her arm playfully.

"So? Are you going to help unite the Glee club or leave me hanging and despondent?"

Quinn watched as some of the Glee members started milling in the auditorium – the break must be almost over. "I'll be there," she nodded at Rachel, and before she knew it, the brunette had nearly toppled her over with an enthusiastic hug.

She couldn't help reacting with a bright smile, her arms finding their way to the small of Rachel's back as the brunette squeezed her. Quinn inadvertently met eyes with Kurt from across the room over Rachel's shoulder, who had an inquisitive expression on his face. She quickly shifted her gaze before closing her eyes.

It was easy to forget about it once rehearsal began again – thankfully, the break seemed to do wonders, and New Directions had newfound focus for the rest of the period.

* * *

Quinn wished that she would've just texted Rachel to come to the door instead of knocking.

"Hi, Quinn," Leroy's deep voice rumbled as he opened the front door to the blonde. He sounded friendly, but there was a look of deliberation in his eyes as if he wanted to say _more_ , which sent a rush of anxiety within the blonde whenever she saw it. "Come on in."

"Hi, Mr- Leroy." The morning after she slept over the first time the Berry men had established themselves as _Hiram_ and _Leroy_ because they were both _Mr. Berry_ , so it made sense, logically; it was hard to break the habit, though.

She had quickly learned Leroy was the more intimidating dad of the two.

He moved over as she stepped in, and he closed the door behind her. "I just wanted to say it's nice that you're coming around more," he said with a smile. "Rachel seems happier lately."

She let out a quiet sigh of relief, and he laughed. "Sorry. Did I worry you?" He patted her shoulder warmly, and Quinn smiled shakily.

"Not at all," she lied, as if she wasn't staring at him like a scared rabbit only a minute ago. "I'm glad she's happier – I'm not sure if I can take the credit, though." If she was being honest, Quinn wanted to, but she didn't really deserve it when only last year she was the one belittling Rachel.

"You should have heard her before you got here," he said dryly. "Wouldn't stop talking about you coming over."

"Thank you for letting me," she replied politely, but before the older man could respond the tell-tale thump of feet running down the stairs made them glance towards the noise.

" _Daddy!_ I told you to send Quinn up if she got here while I was in the shower!" Rachel chastised loudly from a different room. Leroy shared a look with Quinn before the brunette approached that made her stifle a snicker. "Now, if you're quite done stealing my guest, we'll both be going upstairs."

"She's all yours, honey."

"Come on, Quinn," Rachel linked her arm with Quinn's, pulling her towards the stairs. She knew the drill by now, and they fell into the familiar pattern of setting things up in Rachel's bedroom.

Once they had settled on the bed, Rachel glanced at Quinn. "Daddy didn't interrogate you, right?"

She shook her head, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. "No… why?"

"Oh, no reason," Rachel waved her off, but Quinn's curiosity had been piqued. Also, Rachel was terrible at lying.

"Rachel, we both know that's not true. Tell me."

Rachel took a breath. "Okay, so he might've come to me since our last sleepover a fortnight ago and was concerned because both of my dads vaguely know our relationship was a little… _antagonistic_ in the past." Quinn frowned, and Rachel continued hastily. "But I managed to convince him that you've changed and that you have nothing but good intentions when it comes to being my friend."

Quinn quirked her lips, unsure how to take this information. Mostly, she wanted to laugh at _good intentions,_ because – well, she did have good intentions, but also _gay_ intentions, and she wasn't sure those two coincided. The stringent Christian buried within her wanted to say _not at all._

She must have looked slightly panicked, because Rachel tried to reassure her further. "I think it helped that you've been on your best behavior whenever they're around, so you have nothing to fret about. Promise."

"If you say so," Quinn croaked. She felt for the cross around her neck and the tension eased in her shoulders when her thumb ran across it. If Rachel noticed, she didn't say anything.

Instead, the brunette stood up from the bed and stretched and Quinn wished Rachel would invest in longer skirts. _Honestly_.

"So, who's on movie duty tonight?" Rachel looked at her.

"You're not going to force me to watch the entire _Twilight_ saga?" Quinn asked teasingly.

"No. Unless you want to," Rachel added. "You can choose tonight. It's only fair if we take turns, right?"

Quinn supposed it was, but she had quickly found out that she didn't mind any movie when she was watching it with Rachel. Rachel could probably put on any niche musical and she would be happy. She could hear Santana's voice calling her _whipped,_ clear as day. _Not like she would have any room to speak,_ Quinn thought wryly.

"Right," the blonde agreed instead of expressing those thoughts, standing up to go look through Rachel's movies. Once she had made her choice, she took the DVD out and set the case on the bedside table, putting it into the DVD player herself.

Rachel must have taken a peek at the case she had set aside, because a moment later she exclaimed: " _Up?_ Quinn, really? Do you want to make me cry? Because I will."

She hadn't thought too hard about the movie she chose, so she just chuckled. "I can pick a different one if you can't handle it."

"I can _handle_ it," Rachel pouted. "You just don't get to make fun of me if I cry. I warned you."

Quinn made her way to her usual side of the bed, nudging her body against Rachel's as the movie started. "My lips are sealed," she promised.

* * *

True to her word, Rachel cried within the first ten minutes.

It wasn't full out _bawling_ or anything, but she started sniffing and Quinn turned to look at her. Rachel glared with watery eyes when she saw Quinn's smile, and then reached over to her bedside table to grab a tissue.

"Haven't you seen it before?" Quinn asked.

"Yes, but I can't help it," Rachel frowned, blowing her nose. "I cry every time."

"You're so cute." The words were out of Quinn's mouth before she could stop them, and she bit her tongue immediately. Heat rose to her face when Rachel's expression changed to one of surprise and intrigue. Quinn was urgently searching her mind for an excuse.

"I thought I said you couldn't make fun of me," Rachel smiled in a way that suggested she wasn't letting Quinn's utterance go as easily as her own statement implied.

"Sorry. It's a habit," Quinn shrugged casually, as if her traitorous mouth didn't just spill out words she hadn't meant to say out loud. She turned back to the movie, willing the embarrassment to go away. Quinn Fabray wasn't supposed to get _embarrassed_.

But she found herself unable to regret it when Rachel subtly inched closer – well, as subtle as Rachel could be, which wasn't very – until they were nearly sharing a pillow. Rachel's hand snuck across the mattress between them, stopping just beside hers. Their skin barely touched, but it made Quinn's nerves flare up excitedly regardless.

Rachel left it there, stilling her movement.

Quinn took a shaky breath, her eyes deliberately on the movie. After a few minutes, Quinn worked up the courage to gently start stroking her pinky on the side of Rachel's hand, as if keeping her actions minimal made it less real. She was content with this, until Rachel started to lightly trace Quinn's skin as well.

Quinn swallowed. Hazel eyes stared at the ceiling as her hand moved over Rachel's, using her thumb to continue her ministrations. She made a point of not looking to her right, because she didn't need to. She could perfectly imagine Rachel's curious, dark eyes on her, and that was too much for her right now.

They continued to watch the movie quietly, and it was a little perturbing; Rachel normally couldn't resist talking, even if it was to make little comments throughout movies. But Quinn appreciated it. She was afraid if Rachel said anything, she would panic and pull away.

It wasn't too long after when Rachel slowly moved her hand underneath Quinn's to turn it over, locking their fingers together. Quinn's heart sped up, and she finally glanced at Rachel with a pink flush on her cheeks. Rachel flashed her a brilliant, reassuring smile while squeezing her hand and Quinn had to consciously steady her breathing.

"Is this okay?" Rachel asked finally, her voice gentle, and Quinn could only nod. Rachel held her gaze for a moment, before turning back to the TV.

And Quinn felt so _ridiculous,_ like some sort of pubescent _boy_ ,because who got this giddy about holding a girl's hand? She hadn't even been this nervous when she had planted a spontaneous kiss on the brunette. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that this was a long, drawn out moment instead of just a quick _peck_ , which was what it amounted to.

She was admittedly curious about what an actual kiss would feel like, but she wasn't going to let her feelings get to her like that again, even if they were currently holding hands.

She wasn't like Rachel. She wasn't going to search for further meaning in this moment. Rachel was the kind of girl who would say and do blatantly flirtatious things and think she was just being friendly; Quinn was the kind of girl who didn't get her hopes up.

But when Rachel held her hand for the rest of the movie, giggling at whatever scenes she found amusing, Quinn dared to dream.

* * *

The next day, Quinn was reaching for her keys to unlock the door to her house before the front door opened unexpectedly. She met the blue eyes of her mother.

"Oh, Quinnie!" Judy said in surprise. "I wasn't sure when to expect you."

It was early afternoon, but Quinn never really made a point to communicate her plans with her mom past 'spending the night at Rachel's'. After the pregnancy debacle and the divorce, her mom seemed afraid to enforce anything, lest it ruin their already tense relationship. Quinn enjoyed the freedom.

It meant she didn't have to go to church every Sunday morning, even if her mom made her feel guilty about it.

"I don't like to intrude all day after spending the night," Quinn shrugged. Okay, and Rachel had 'family bonding time' – she discovered after the second sleepover – on Sunday afternoons.

"That's thoughtful of you, dear," her mom commented, and Quinn resisted the urge to snort.

Instead, she changed the subject, staring at her mom's purse. "Where are you going?"

"I was just about to go grocery shopping. Do you want to come?"

Quinn could only handle her mom in small doses, but she didn't want to seem completely dismissive. Besides, a grocery trip wouldn't hurt anything. "Sure, mom. Just let me put my bag in my room."

"Okay, dear. I'll be waiting in the car," Judy told her with a thin smile.

They had a relatively silent drive to the local grocery store. Judy attempted to make small talk, and Quinn gave minimal answers. She expected a similarly quiet grocery trip, until her mom spoke up.

"You should invite that Rachel girl to spend the night at our house one of these days, Quinnie," she suggested calmly while inspecting apples, choosing only the shiniest ones without scuffs.

"Why?"

"Well, she's hosted you three times now, hasn't she? It's only fair to return the favor." Her mom moved on to bananas.

"She's the one who keeps inviting me. I don't think she minds," Quinn frowned. Inviting Rachel to her house hadn't even crossed her mind.

"It's just a suggestion, dear." But her mom sounded disappointed, so Quinn pursed her lips. There was more to it.

"Why do you care?" Quinn hoped it didn't come out as rude as it sounded.

Judy smiled, an authentic one this time. "Okay, you caught me, Quinnie. I want to meet her. She must have caught your attention if you're willing to accept her invitations."

" _Mom_ ," Quinn complained, her cheeks reddening. She was grateful they made their way into the aisles by now. There was no one more talented at unintentionally getting under her skin than her mother.

"What?" Her mom asked innocently, reaching out to grab cans of soup. "It's rather difficult to get your attention sometimes, honey. You must like her." They continued onto the next aisle. "So, do I get to meet her?"

"I'll think about it," Quinn replied testily. She was pretty sure her mom wouldn't be so eager to see the brunette in their house if she knew the kinds of ways Quinn thought about her in bed at night.

But for now, her mom seemed satisfied with her answer, and they continued grocery shopping.

* * *

Once her mom had brought up the idea, Quinn found herself considering it. Which was a stellar achievement, because she almost never made a point of entertaining her mom's suggestions.

She had a TV in her room, after all. And a nice, comfortable mattress that could easily fit two people. And mostly? She could imagine Rachel's glee at the prospect of Quinn extending the invitation for once. She deserved it, didn't she?

That thought was the only thing counteracting the fact that she was not particularly excited about Rachel meeting her mom.

She walked confidently through the halls of McKinley High, making her way to her locker on Monday morning. Maybe, if she were lucky, she would see Rachel before fourth period and she could potentially bring up what her mother said. If she didn't chicken out.

But when she turned the corner to the hallway where her locker was located, it appeared that Rachel was occupied. Well, she assumed it was Rachel, because she could only see a sliver of tan legs. The rest of her was blocked by a giant oaf standing way too close.

Quinn's spirits were instantly dampened, and she continued towards her locker while shooting an icy glare towards Finn's back. She didn't really expect much, seeing as it was _Finn_ , but he certainly didn't wait long before he began openly pursuing the brunette after their breakup.

It wasn't Rachel's fault. Not really. But a tiny voice in the back of her mind yelled that the little moments between her and Rachel meant nothing – Rachel was always going to choose Finn – whenever she saw the two together like this.

It made her angry. It made her want to break something. Worst of all, she felt hurt, and heartbroken, and Rachel wasn't even _hers_.

Quinn wondered morosely if she was just a supporting character in the epic love saga of Rachel and Finn.

Making quick work of collecting her books for her first class, she slammed her locker a little harder than necessary before walking away. She didn't spare another glance towards Finn and Rachel, but the sting in her chest remained.

* * *

After third period, she went to spend the lunch hour in the library. She had a history test to study for. It wasn't like she was _avoiding_ Rachel, specifically – even though they often spent lunchtime together lately, with whatever friends that decided to sit with them.

 _The world doesn't revolve around Rachel,_ Quinn thought stubbornly. She ignored the fact that before seeing Rachel with Finn in the hallway, she couldn't wait to talk to her.

She was between bookshelves, tracing her fingers along books while looking for a specific one, when someone walked past. She didn't bother glancing over, but the person must have recognized her because they stopped and came back to her aisle a few seconds later.

"Why, if it isn't Miss Quinn Fabray herself!" Kurt exclaimed, teasing in tone. She offered him a half-hearted smile before returning to her search. "What brings you to the library?"

"A history test," Quinn explained plainly, a little confused. She was friendly with Kurt, but not exactly close buddies with him like Rachel was. "What about you?" She asked to be polite.

"I just had some books to return," he motioned towards his bag, but Quinn was pretty sure he just wanted her to look because it was a designer brand of some sort. She nodded, but didn't bother to reply, finally finding the book she wanted.

She had assumed that was the end of the conversation, but Kurt kept talking. "You're not having lunch with Rachel today?" Maybe if she had been anyone else, she would have taken his question as it was, but there was a too-innocent lilt to his voice as if he was bringing up this topic for an ulterior reason.

"No," she answered with guarded eyes. "It's not like I spend every lunch hour with her."

"I suppose not," he said with a smile. "But I've heard through the grapevine that you've been spending time at her house."

Quinn scoffed, crossing her arms and leaning against the bookcases. "You don't need to be all cryptic. Just say that Rachel told you."

"Finn mentioned it, too, actually," he said, which only put Quinn more on edge.

"We're friends," she stated tersely. "You don't have to gossip about it like it's news."

She didn't like him very much right now, but Kurt was a lot more perceptive than his step-brother. His face softened, kind blue eyes trying to reach hers. "I'm not saying it's a bad thing, Quinn. She's so happy you've finally managed to become friends, and you're good for her. But, just… I see the way you smile at her, and it makes me wonder –"

And maybe if this had been any other day, Quinn's mind wouldn't have buzzed with thoughts of Rachel and Finn together, a vision of her mom's disapproving stare, and the fact she felt so much for Rachel she had no clue what to do with herself, and it was all too much – she panicked.

"Whatever you're implying, stop it!" She hissed at him, looking around briefly to make sure no one else was around. She lowered her voice, but it remained taut. "Stop trying to extrapolate your – your _homosexuality_ onto me," she bit out, and regretted it almost immediately. Kurt looked shocked, and she was probably wearing a similar expression.

"Quinn…" he said softly, his eyes sympathetic.

A retort? She could handle. Sympathy? Not so much.

She felt the tears gathering in her eyes, and her hands pulled into fists so tightly her nails dug into her palms. She was so _tired_ of freaking out on people like she hadn't developed at all since early sophomore year.

Quinn's immediate instinct was to storm away with one last icy remark. So, with great effort, she forced herself to stay. "I'm sorry, Kurt," she said with a tight throat, looking to the side. "I can't do this right now. I'm sorry."

With that, she turned tail and fled to an entirely different corner of the library, holding the book tightly to her chest. She let herself have a few minutes of reprieve before she had to face the librarian.

If her eyes were a little red-rimmed when she approached the counter, then so be it.

* * *

She didn't get very far from the library when a certain brunette saw her in the hallway, and she cursed her luck.

"Quinn! There you are!" Rachel cried from somewhere behind her, and Quinn could hear quickened steps approaching. She stopped with a sigh but didn't turn around. "I've been looking everywhere for you," she scolded lightly.

"Oh," Quinn replied, guilt pressing on her chest. Her emotions were still unsteady, and she was trying her best to prevent Rachel from getting a good look at her face. The shorter girl stood beside her, her gaze making the hair on the back of Quinn's neck rise.

"I was going to ask if you wanted to hang out in the auditorium with me while I practiced my scales over the lunch period, but I didn't manage to catch you this morning, and we're already twenty minutes through break –" Rachel had moved to stand in front of her, apparently bothered by having a conversation without eye contact, and Quinn finally conceded by meeting her eyes.

"Why didn't you just ask Finn?" She sneered, but it didn't sound as biting as it did miserable _._ It sounded like it came from a girl who had just finished crying not too long ago.

"What?" Rachel raised her brows in surprise but recovered quickly. "Where did that –" She started, but cut herself off as she inspected Quinn's face with narrowed eyes. Quinn craned her neck to look away.

"Rachel," her voice pleaded for the brunette to stop.

She did, but it was silly to think she could escape Rachel's scrutiny. "Are you okay?" She asked quietly, careful not to arouse the attention of any students who occasionally walked by.

"I'm fine." The lie slipped past her lips easily, but she already knew she wasn't convincing anyone.

"You don't _sound_ fine. Have you been crying?" Worry was written all over Rachel's face, and it kind of made Quinn want to cry again. She would have gotten annoyed if anyone else had blatantly asked her that question, like it wasn't embarrassing to admit. But it was Rachel.

"No, I – I was just… um… it's allergies. Spring really sets them off."

And she had called _Rachel_ a terrible liar.

Rachel just shook her head with a tiny smile, grabbing Quinn's hand. She scanned the hallways, lips quirked in thought, and then tugged on Quinn to follow her. "Come with me."

Quinn let herself get pulled into an empty classroom. The lights weren't on, and Rachel hadn't made a move to change that, so it was only illuminated by the sunlight streaming through the windows.

"Here, I thought you might be more comfortable in a more private setting," Rachel's smile widened.

"I'm still not going to cry my heart out to you, if that's what you're hoping," Quinn joked weakly. She already felt a little better.

"While I enjoy the trust implicit in the fact that you've already done that with me," Rachel spoke warmly, stepping closer. "I happen to prefer when you're all smiles and sunshine."

Quinn wrinkled her nose and couldn't help the smirk that reached her lips. "I'm not sure that's how anyone would describe me."

Rachel giggled, leaning up and moving her arms to encircle them around Quinn's body. The brunette shut her eyes as she placed her chin on Quinn's shoulder. "Okay, I brought you here because you looked like you needed a hug."

Quinn bit her lip, her chest filling with affection. She carefully wrapped her arms around Rachel, closing her eyes as well. She let out a shaky breath as the tension slowly left her body.

"You weren't avoiding me again… were you?" Rachel questioned softly, right by Quinn's ear. It felt intimate in a way that made her feel worse.

"No," she replied. After a few beats she swallowed. "Maybe a little."

"Quinn…" Rachel sounded only a little disappointed, but it made Quinn's heart clench painfully all the same. The brunette pulled back slightly from the embrace to look at her. "Why?"

"I wasn't… going to do it longer than today, okay. Sometimes I just need room to breathe." Quinn's tongue pressed against her cheek as she contemplated whether or not to say the next statement. "Didn't really work out well today. Um, Kurt kind of faced the brunt of it."

"Kurt?" Rachel's face twisted in confusion, pulling away from the hug completely, to Quinn's disappointment.

"He was just – saying things. I wasn't in the mood," Quinn explained without really explaining anything at all. It was the kind of response Rachel hated to receive, but Quinn liked to give.

Rachel's brows furrowed like she wanted more detail, and Quinn almost laughed at the predictability of it. "You know I want to ask, but I don't want to run out of my limited amount of daily Quinn answers yet. If I let it go for now to ask a different question, will you please answer it?" Rachel asked.

Quinn didn't know whether to be amused with 'limited daily Quinn answers' or to fear the _different_ question that apparently took precedence. "It depends on the question," she replied vaguely.

Rachel squinted at her, taking a moment to sit on top of a desk. Quinn leaned against one next to it. "No fair. Every time you _kind of_ break our promise, you should owe me one truthful answer."

Quinn scoffed, smiling. "Just ask already. I'm honest _most_ of the time." But then she arched a brow, fully registering Rachel's words. "Also, I totally didn't break our promise. If I did, I wouldn't be talking to you right now."

Rachel looked like she was almost caught in the debate about promise semantics – Quinn would have preferred this, but Rachel's curiosity won out. "Whatever you say. Okay, so… why did you randomly bring up Finn earlier?"

She wasn't just being facetious when she struggled to remember the exact things she said in her emotional state.

"When I was telling you that I wanted you to keep me company in the auditorium," Rachel clarified. "You asked – quite bitterly, may I add – why I didn't ask Finn."

"Oh," Now Quinn remembered. She had only said it in the spur of the moment, but of course Rachel would hold onto it. "Yeah, that. Well, he's your 'leading man', isn't he?" Quinn couldn't help subtly curling her lip while saying it. "And I saw you talking to him this morning, so…"

Rachel's lips pressed into a thin line, very nearly a frown. "What does that have to do with anything?" She took a moment to smooth her skirt, taking a breath, her voice softer as she continued. "I wanted _you_ there. Not Finn. Is that so hard to believe?"

 _Yeah_ , Quinn wanted to say. But Rachel's brown eyes were pools of sincerity, and there was a particular expression on her face that made Quinn feel like the brunette was staring into her soul. She was suddenly afraid Rachel could see behind all the façades she hid behind.

"You weren't…" Rachel said cautiously, as if she could sense Quinn's uneasiness. "You weren't jealous, were you?"

She didn't want to get into this, because that would involve a _lot_ of talking about feelings she wasn't prepared to acknowledge out loud yet. So, she opted for a non-response. "Wouldn't you like to know," Quinn said dismissively, smirking.

Rachel's brows knitted as she gave an exaggerated pout. "Quinn! You told me you'd be honest."

Quinn took in Rachel; her cute, polka-dot black dress, her long hair falling along her shoulder in loose curls, the adorable pout on her face. The relentless buzz of her thoughts finally quieted when she made a decision.

"Question time is over," Quinn declared, moving away from the desk she had been leaning on to step closer to Rachel. "Which means you don't get to ask about this for at least a week. Okay?"

"Ask about wh –" Quinn cut her off, shutting her eyes and pressing her lips against Rachel's. Really, for how smart she was, Rachel was delightfully obtuse sometimes.

Quinn placed her hands on either side of the brunette, against the desk top that she was sitting on. She kept it chaste, waiting for the shock to wear off, and pulled away ever so slightly. Just in case. Their faces were a few inches apart.

"Oh," Rachel breathed, and Quinn prepared to pull away completely. But then the brunette seemed to collect herself, because her hands found their way to either side of Quinn's face and pulled her in again.

Quinn couldn't resist smiling into the kiss, her heart quickening at the reciprocation. Rachel kissed her a little unsurely, like she couldn't quite believe this was actually happening. Quinn was happy to take the lead – Rachel's lips were so soft; so unlike any of the boys she had kissed previously.

She ended up between Rachel's legs with her skirt riding up, and her hands found their way to the brunette's hips, rubbing ever so gently. Rachel shivered, making a soft noise that only encouraged Quinn to kiss her harder.

But Quinn didn't want to take this too far, despite how good it felt. Maybe that was another reason to stop, although her reasoning was a little foggy right now. It was very hard to think rationally when Rachel's kisses were increasing in bravery.

She took the opportunity to slide the tip of her tongue along the seam of Rachel's lips, tasting strawberry lip gloss, before finally gathering the resolve to pull away.

Quinn had to lick her own lips when she slowly opened her eyes and saw Rachel. The brunette's eyes were half-lidded and dark and there was a distinctive flush on her cheeks. She looked dazed, and Quinn's chest bloomed with affection.

"Are you okay," Quinn asked, her voice coming out softer than she'd ever heard it.

Rachel just nodded nearly imperceptibly. She looked like her mind was working overtime. "Finn was right," she murmured, sounding amazed and bewildered.

Quinn took a step back, raising a brow. She tried not to let the annoyance and doubt seep into her veins at the mention of him. "Excuse me?"

Rachel seemed to finally regain full awareness, shooting a wide-eyed look at Quinn. "Oh! Um, well…" she trailed off shyly, moving to flatten her skirt down from the way it was nearly exposing her underwear. Quinn's throat felt dry at the thought. "I may have… I may have asked Finn what it was like to kiss you."

Quinn narrowed her eyes, unsure how to take this revelation. Her heart thumped in her chest. A million questions rattled in her head and out of her mouth. "When? What did he say? Why?"

"Earlier this year." Rachel was fiddling with her hands, now. "He said – he said he saw fireworks. I don't know why. I was curious?" She winced, as if she knew that was a weak explanation.

While this information intrigued Quinn in a lot of ways, she had no clue what to do with it right now. She was still kind of in a kiss-induced haze, so she didn't press further. "Okay."

Rachel's eyes caught hers, filled with confusion and yearning. "Quinn, we should talk about –"

"I thought I said _you don't get to ask about it_." She didn't even think she could answer it if she wanted to. Not without having to explain how much and how deeply she felt.

"But –" Rachel bit her lip, stopping herself. Quinn was impressed with her self-restraint.

But she also felt a tiny bit guilty. Rachel was a lot more honest with her than she was. But talking about it meant _thinking_ about it for more than a few seconds, and she hated the way her doubts appeared at the forefront.

Quinn sighed, grabbing Rachel's hand to squeeze it. "It – lunch hour is going to be over soon," she babbled. "But, I… we can talk about this later, sometime, maybe," she said, because Rachel deserved better.

"Really?" Rachel's face lit up the entire room.

"Um… maybe not like _today_ soon, but soon."

"Whenever you're ready," Rachel's huge smile made Quinn believe everything would turn out okay.

* * *

It wasn't until Thursday, when Quinn had let finally herself re-imagine the entire scene at the end of class, that she fully comprehended the words they exchanged. She suddenly couldn't stop wondering about why Rachel would ask Finn about how _Quinn_ kissed – there were some sort of implications there, weren't there?

But it would be _weird_ to press for further details now, because her and Rachel went back to acting friendly as usual. Quinn, because she knew if she did anything remotely romantic again, there would be questions; and Rachel – she assumed – because she didn't want to push Quinn. So, yes, if Quinn acknowledged that moment at all, Rachel would probably insist that they _have a thorough conversation,_ or something equally Rachel-like.

But there had to be some sort of reciprocation of feelings, right? They held hands and very nearly cuddled last weekend. And Rachel had kissed her back, after all. Her chest filled with the barest sense of hope. But the cynical side of her thought about Rachel and Finn together.

Quinn wished that she wasn't such a coward.

A finger snapped in front of her face, startling her and on instinct she glared at the perpetrator.

"Jesus, Q. Something interesting happening in that head of yours?" Santana peered at her from the seat beside her as if she could see her thoughts through her skull.

"No," Quinn shrugged. "I'm just… thinking about the lesson."

"The lesson's been over for three minutes," Santana deadpanned.

Quinn didn't let her face reflect the fact that she had been caught. "It was a _really_ interesting lesson."

"I'm sure it was," the Latina snickered as they both stood up from their seats. Quinn just shot her one more glare before grabbing her books. She would appreciate the fact that Santana waited for her, but she suspected it was only because she had wanted to make fun of her.

As they approached the door, Santana turned to her. "Oh, and Q?"

"What?" She didn't like the mischievous look Santana was giving her. She narrowed her eyes again.

"If you're fantasizing during class, I heard it helps to get _well_ acquainted with your hand –"

" _Don't_ finish that sentence!" Quinn hissed, face hot as she stomped ahead to exit the classroom first.

Santana's loud laughter rang out from behind her.

* * *

After shaking off Santana, Quinn made her way towards her locker to dispose of her books before heading to the cafeteria for the rest of lunch hour. To her surprise, Kurt was standing there holding two fresh coffees when she approached. The rest of the hallway was nearly empty.

"What do you want?" She asked warily. She was careful to keep her tone from becoming completely hostile.

"I wanted to apologize, too," Kurt said as he handed her one of the coffees. "It wasn't fair of me to push you like that. I, of all people, should know how it feels to be – to be questioned about my identity and having others exercise judgment on me in a way that's completely unfair. It took me a long time to get comfortable in my skin…" he paused, trailing off a little forlornly. "It still isn't easy sometimes. But I digress. I should've have acted like I know your feelings better than you do… I'm sorry, Quinn."

Quinn felt herself smile faintly, although inwardly she truly appreciated his words. She took a sip of the coffee before responding and was surprised to discover it was her usual order. She had a sneaking suspicion…

"One cream, one sugar, right?" He smiled at her. "A little birdy insisted on giving me advice, lest I get your coffee order wrong and ruin the apology."

 _Of course._ She let out a small laugh at that. "Thanks," Quinn said quietly, biting her lip because she didn't know how what to say. She forgave him, but an eloquent reply wasn't forming in her head.

"So… peace offering accepted?" Kurt asked hopefully. He opened his arm that wasn't holding a coffee, offering a hug.

"Peace offering accepted," Quinn confirmed, leaning forward to give him a casual hug – semi-awkward because they were both holding coffees, and Quinn wasn't really a hugger. But Kurt looked so relieved, Quinn didn't mind too much.

Kurt stepped back, adjusting the collar of his clothes. "Well, I won't keep you. See you around?"

But something didn't seem quite right, yet, so Quinn stopped him. "Wait, Kurt," she licked her lips, nervousness flickering in her chest. He spun around, tilting his head slightly.

"Yes, Quinn?"

The hallway was nearly empty. And Quinn was tired of being a coward.

"I think," she whispered, her lungs feeling like they were running out of air. "I think I'm a little in love with Rachel."

Quinn was grateful for Kurt's sensitivity when he just smiled reassuringly, silently rubbing her shoulder while she inhaled shaky breaths with blurred eyes.

* * *

"How did it go?" Rachel whispered when Kurt and Quinn arrived at the cafeteria together awhile later. She had been looking around as if she were anxiously waiting the entire time. "Please tell me it went well. It's incredibly hard not to feel antsy when your two best friends aren't talking to each other."

Kurt glanced at Quinn. "We're okay," the blonde said softly. "Everything's okay."

* * *

Confessing her feelings to Kurt had gone great, all things considered. Probably helped by the fact he had apparently already deduced it. He was a bit of a gossipmonger, but she trusted him enough to keep _this_ secret (she also may have threatened him not to tell Rachel in particular).

But Quinn hesitated to run up and pour all her feelings out to Rachel, despite her slowly ( _slowly)_ growing courage. There were a few reasons. First: all the boys she dated had actively pursued her _,_ other than Finn – the first time they dated – but he was hardly intimidating and she hadn't foreseen any chance of rejection. So, the whole confessing to Rachel thing was a brand-new type of terrifying.

Second: it didn't seem like great timing to start a relationship ( _or get rejected,_ Quinn gulped) when Nationals were a week away. Rachel was already high-strung, even more so currently, and Quinn didn't want to start a whole new mess of distractions for either of them.

And maybe a small part of her was just putting it off for a little while longer.

Quinn spent the weekend by herself, and she was perfectly content with this. She wasn't going to be at home at all next week, and she wasn't lying about needing time to breathe and recharge. _Next time we have a sleepover, we'll talk,_ she decided. _No backing out._

The next week passed in a blur; all studying and Glee rehearsals and eager conversations about the upcoming trip to New York. Before she knew it, New Directions were on the bus, dreams in tow.

It wasn't too surprising when they ended up dancing around and singing excitedly as they explored the big city.

But after their long day of travelling, it was a relief to get back to the hotel they were staying at. Mr. Schuester only managed to get them two rooms – separated by boys and girls – with one more for the teachers. It was a tight fit seeing as there were only two queen-sized beds, but they made do.

"This is so _fun!"_ Brittany cheered as they entered their room. "It's like a giant sleepover party."

"Whatever you say," Mercedes chuckled. "Right now, I'm more concerned about the sleeping arrangements. I call dibs on a bed."

"I sleep wherever B sleeps," Santana said with a toss of her ponytail.

"I wouldn't mind sleeping on a bed, if no one minds," Tina said nervously.

" _Well,_ " Rachel cleared her throat, speaking as if she were giving a speech in front of a class. "I certainly can't sleep on the floor; it'd be terrible for my back, and I refuse to do anything that will prevent me from achieving my maximum performance."

"Now _hold on,_ midget, me and Britt –" Santana retorted, but Brittany grabbed her arm and distracted her. "What, B?"

"I want to sleep on the floor," Brittany said excitedly. "Sleeping on a bed is so boring. I mean, _yawn_. We can do that at home."

"It's your lucky day," Santana said gruffly towards Rachel, but smiled when Brittany hugged her a moment later. "Guess that settles it. Streisand and Aretha get one bed, Tina and Q can –"

"Oh no," Mercedes shook her head. "That's not happening. That's waaay too much diva for one bed."

"I'm inclined to agree," Rachel said. "Besides– it's already been proven that Quinn and I are excellent at cohabitating in the same bed."

"Do you have to say it like that?" Quinn put a hand to her face to hide the blush when Santana snickered.

Rachel just smiled, and Quinn could _see_ the teasing glint in her eyes. _Huh,_ Quinn thought. _Someone's learning._

"Fine with me," Mercedes shrugged easily, placing her bag on the bed closest to the door.

After helping Santana and Brittany make a suitable floor bed with shared bedding, they all settled in for the night. Kurt ended up in their room, and they all watched TV and chattered away for a little while before bidding each other goodnight.

Quinn didn't think it was her imagination when she noticed Rachel slept closer to her than usual. Not quite touching, but close.

The next day, Rachel and Kurt had disappeared for part of the afternoon. When Quinn had asked about it, Rachel explained that they were scouting out the city. She looked so starstruck with the entire world that Quinn didn't have the heart to chastise her.

Later, the girls bundled back up into their hotel room. Quinn was sitting at the edge of the bed while Santana and Rachel argued about a movie. In the end, Rachel finally relented because Santana pointed out that she was stuck sleeping on the floor.

She chose a horror movie and turned off all the lights, to half the room's displeasure.

"Guess you'll just have to snuggle up _real_ close to someone if you get scared," Santana shrugged nonchalantly, giving the briefest glance at Rachel and Quinn in particular. Quinn rolled her eyes.

" _Ugh,"_ Rachel complained when she sat on her side of the bed, pouting towards Quinn. "Why was I the only one arguing with her?"

"I think you're the only one with enough energy to argue with Santana," Quinn smiled, moving to lean back against the headboard. "And she'd use the 'look who's on the floor' card with any of us. I guess this is our punishment."

"I hate horror films," Rachel said reproachfully, pulling a blanket close. " _Funny Girl_ was obviously the better choice."

"Don't worry," Quinn murmured as she rubbed a gentle thumb on Rachel's arm. "I'll keep you safe."

The smile she got back was well worth it. It was even more worth it when they _did_ end up in a snuggle of sorts, as Rachel had opted to press right against Quinn, hiding her face in the blonde's shoulder whenever anything gory happened.

It was ruined when Rachel heard her phone vibrate and shuffled over to fish it out from her bag on the bedside table. Quinn watched as Rachel read a message, and then bit her lip in thought.

After a minute, Quinn finally leaned over to ask in a hushed tone, ignoring the loud chainsaw noises and screaming in the background. "Who was that?"

"Finn," Rachel said a little hesitantly. "He wants me to go out for supper with him."

Quinn didn't bother to hide her disdain. "Isn't it a little late for that?" She meant time-wise, but she supposed it could hold a double meaning.

"I mean… maybe a little, but…"

"You're considering it?" Quinn hated the hurt that seeped into her voice.

Rachel looked conflicted, like she was waiting for something. "Finn is my friend," she said quietly. "Why shouldn't I go? I'm spending half of this movie hiding in your neck, anyway."

Quinn felt the tiniest flush at that, then quirked a brow. "You're aware," she took a breath, trying to maintain composure, "that he's probably not asking you out to supper _just_ as a friend-date."

"Yes, well," her eyes flickered across Quinn's, and the blonde stiffened her jaw. "Sometimes it's nice to hang out with someone who isn't afraid to acknowledge their romantic inclinations."

"Oh, so _that's_ what this about?" Quinn hissed, trying her best to keep her voice low. The only thing keeping their conversation from reaching unwanted ears was the loud movie. Quinn's chest twisted; she knew she was taking long, but Rachel had said _whenever you're ready_ , hadn't she?

"Maybe it is," Rachel huffed, sitting up.

Now, Quinn could tell Rachel that she'd already been planning to talk to her as soon as possible after Nationals. Or she could even just say _something_ about her feelings to reassure her. She could plead with her to stay. Instead, she did the exact opposite.

"Fine," Quinn said coldly. "If you want Finn that bad, there's the door."

Rachel visibly swallowed, hurt shimmering in her eyes. Quinn's chest squeezed painfully at the sight. "There's nothing else you want to say?"

Quinn held Rachel's gaze, wordlessly communicating. She sucked in her cheeks, about to reply.

"Oy, if you're going to keep whisper-arguing like a married couple, _get a room_!" Santana yelled from her spot on the floor.

Quinn dragged her gaze to the mattress. "Sorry. Rachel was just leaving."

Rachel silently gathered her things and Quinn winced when the door opened and shut. She stared a hole into the TV when she had noticed the other girls offering concerned looks.

When Rachel returned later in the evening, Quinn pointedly kept herself facing the other way and pretended to be asleep, as if she hadn't been staying up to make sure she made it back safely.

* * *

The following day, when Santana and Brittany were the only ones in the room with her, Quinn ended up having a miniature breakdown. Santana had suggested a haircut, which sounded not helpful _at all_ , in Quinn's opinion. But it was _something_ to distract herself with, so she followed her advice.

She was staring at herself in the mirror, watching as the scissors glided to take the first _snip_ of many, when she felt a change. It was like looking at a new person.

Gone was the studious, straight-A student; gone was the prom queen candidate; gone was the devout Christian; gone was the perfect blonde cheerleader dating the quarterback.

She was just… Quinn. She could be anyone she wanted to be.

When she watched her hair fall to the floor, she wondered how long she had been desperately trying to reflect perfectly tweaked images instead of following her heart.

It turned out that Santana's suggestion hadn't been completely useless, after all.

* * *

 _Nationals_ were a disaster.

Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration. They ended up in twelfth, which wasn't _terrible_ out of fifty different participating groups, but it was nowhere near the victory they were looking for.

Quinn was worried about Rachel's reaction, but they weren't really talking, even though Quinn sought her out. They had been just too busy preparing and sightseeing to have a lengthy conversation, and Rachel kept sneaking off with Kurt.

Anyhow, it was a _near_ disaster because Finn had decided to plant an unscripted kiss on Rachel – to the rest of the Glee club's horror – which didn't really come across as romantic to any onlookers and instead a strange, awkward pause at the end of their performance that lasted _way too long._

And, well, the fact that she was currently holding an irate Spanish-speaking Santana back with Brittany really highlighted that it hadn't been appreciated. Quinn kind of wanted to yell at someone too, but that someone was tall and dorky and sometimes too hopeless for his own good.

It was a good ten minutes before Santana finally calmed down enough to use her words, in English this time.

"Berry, I hope you're happy with that _stunt_ you and Finnsolent pulled –" Santana growled, and Quinn nudged her.

"Back off, Santana. You could tell by her reaction she wasn't the one who planned it," Quinn defended. In her heart she hoped she was right – that Rachel didn't secretly find it romantic.

Rachel just sat there solemnly. It was eerie and incredibly out of character in a way that made Quinn forget about any jealousy she may have felt.

"You're just saying that because you wish you were the one who did it!" Santana retorted, striking like a snake.

Quinn worked her jaw, and the rest of the room widened their eyes. Everyone fell silent.

"Quinn wouldn't do that," Rachel said in a small voice, catching their attention. "She's too tactful and considerate to do something like that."

She blinked at Rachel, earning a tiny smile from the brunette.

Santana opened her mouth to reply before Brittany interrupted her.

"San, let it go," Brittany soothed, linking her elbow with Santana's. Santana huffed out one more petulant _'whatever'_ before letting herself be dragged out of the room by Brittany. Quinn was a little on edge after Santana's accusation, but no one left in the room made a move to question her, so she just shook it off.

Quinn didn't know what to expect when she returned to her and Rachel's shared bed, so she went to fix herself up in the bathroom and get into her pajamas. When she came out fifteen minutes later, Mercedes and Tina were nowhere to be found.

Only Rachel remained.

Quinn hesitantly padded across the room and tried to settle into her spot as casually as possible. Rachel didn't look up from her hands.

"Uh," Quinn spoke up because she hated feeling awkward with Rachel. "Thanks for standing up for me."

"Santana is upset with me," Rachel said simply, not looking up. "It isn't fair for her to take it out on you just because you defended me."

Quinn worried her lip, leaning a little closer. "Tactful and considerate, though? I'm not sure I deserve that after our last conversation." She let out a dry laugh, trying to ease the tension.

"You do," Rachel replied with the faintest smile on her face.

Quinn was filled with the urgent need to cheer up the brunette, but she wasn't a natural at it– not like Rachel. She wished she would just _look_ at her. The blonde moved to hold Rachel's hand in our own, squeezing it. "I don't… like fighting with you, Rachel. I'm sorry for what I said." Quinn shrugged helplessly. "I was just… I was jealous. If you're mad at me, I understand, but – please talk to me, if you need someone to talk to."

Rachel finally met her eyes, brown depths expressive as always. "You don't need to apologize, Quinn. I'm not mad at you – I'm mad at myself." Rachel shook her head with a sad chuckle. "I feel _terrible._ I told you I'd be patient, and then… and then I tried to rush you. I just – imagined the myriad of possibilities being here in New York, and, you know…" She looked frustrated that the words weren't coming to her naturally.

"It's okay," Quinn said, and Rachel shook her head furiously.

"It isn't. I shouldn't have used Finn to get you jealous. It wasn't fair to either of you – and clearly Finn got the wrong idea. And I can't even _blame_ him for getting his hopes up, because," Rachel threw her arms around in a way that made Quinn smile vaguely. "Because I was being Rachel Berry at her _worst._ Self-absorbed and nearsighted. _"_

Quinn quirked her lips in thought, absorbing all this information. "The wrong idea…? You just went out with him to get a reaction out of me?"

Rachel gave her a look. "You're a very smart girl. I don't think I have to explain that further." Quinn must've looked doubtful, because Rachel frowned in disbelief. "Did you really think I still wanted to date Finn?"

"I guess we really suck at communicating, don't we?" Quinn said ruefully instead of directly answering.

"I blame _you_ for that, Quinn Fabray!" Rachel nudged her so hard she fell on the bed with Rachel next to her, laughing. "If I had it _my_ way, we would be –" She stopped abruptly, her eyes owlish.

"We would be what?" Quinn smirked, nudging her back.

Rachel was quick to regain her bearings. " _Wouldn't you like to know,_ " Rachel mocked, sticking her tongue out. Quinn resisted the urge to do something with it.

"I guess I deserve that," Quinn sighed, heaving herself back to sitting up with a smile. "Are you feeling a little better?"

"A little," Rachel sobered, her expression becoming a tinge serious. "I mean… I'm still very, very, _very_ disappointed we didn't manage to win Nationals – but we have next year. We'll make it here again." She sighed, gazing out towards the window. It was dark outside, but the city was alive with lights. "And I'll make it back to New York. I know I will."

Quinn admired her determination – she had never met someone so sure of themselves before Rachel. When Rachel found her hand again and gave it a squeeze, she thought that maybe she could be an optimist, too.

Not too long after, the other girls had made their way back into the room and everyone settled into bed, preparing for the early trip back to Lima tomorrow.

"I forgot to say," Rachel whispered into the space between their pillows. "I like your new haircut, Quinn."

"Thanks," Quinn said quietly, smiling. It was a little strange having it shoulder-length after having longer hair for years.

"I doubt you could ever look _bad_ with anything, but I think it suits you." Rachel was looking at her with so much affection it made her heart soar. "Anyway," she continued, pulling the blanket closer to herself. "You must be tired. Goodnight, Quinn." She was about to turn away when Quinn stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"Rachel," Quinn murmured, hazel eyes clear with resolve. "Want to spend the night at my house next weekend?"

"Really?" Rachel gushed as quietly as she could, which wasn't very. Quinn nodded once. "Of course I do!"

Quinn would do anything to keep that smile on her face.

* * *

 **A/N:** As mentioned, this was meant to be a two-shot, but I would feel a little cruel leaving it here, lol. Expect a third installment that may or may not be as long as the previous two. It'll be slower to come.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** At long last! Hopefully the wait wasn't too unbearable. I tend to make a ton of little edits after publishing, so if you see a typo or awkward sentence hopefully I'll catch it. :)

Special thanks to the person who noticed my pairing tag disappeared and left a review - I probably wouldn't have noticed!

* * *

 **the state of dreaming - chapter three**

* * *

Returning to McKinley High after their week in New York was a… shameful experience, to say the least. It was a like being given the taste of a dream before being violently wrenched back into the reality of being a high school student – in a Glee club that won _twelfth –_ also known as, no one else cared. Miss Pillsbury set up a congratulations banner when they returned, which Rachel appreciated, but it made everything feel more poignant.

Nothing really changed when it came to school, in the end.

Rachel, however, found that the trip to New York changed _her_. She and Kurt had snuck onto the Wicked stage and sang together, and her values lined up with startling clarity.

Well – mostly clear, anyway. A particular blonde named Quinn Fabray didn't tend to make things clear. But she had invited her to come to her house this weekend and seeing as it was Wednesday – that would be two days away! She hadn't been to Quinn's house before.

This was _monumental_ progress, in Rachel's opinion.

There was still something she had to take care of, before she could go to Quinn's on good conscience. Or, someone she had to talk to, because they hadn't really discussed what had happened at Nationals and Rachel had made a decision regarding their relationship standing and she was the type of girl who needed closure, and –

"Hey, Rach…"

Oh, speak of the devil.

She had been tucked away in the choir room for lunch hour, mostly to psyche herself up to approach Finn, but apparently, he had the same idea.

She smiled up at him as if her heart hadn't quickened in anxiety. "Yes, Finn?"

"I need to talk to you," he said, fidgeting his hands in his jean pockets. He looked as nervous as she felt. "If that's – good with you. You're not busy, right?" He kind of looked like he wanted her to be.

"No, no. I'm not busy at all." Her tongue peeked out to lick her dry lips. "Go ahead."

He sat down on a chair next to her, to Rachel's relief, because their height difference was even more apparent when Rachel was sitting, and he was standing. She brushed the skirt of her dress down while waiting for him to speak.

"So, I've gotta know… are you mad at me? For kissing you at Nationals?" He sighed heavily. "Everyone else is."

"No, Finn," she shook her head. She had considered this extensively, so the response came easy to her. "I'm not mad."

"Do you – do you regret it?"

Now, she took pause. Her stomach twisted as her dark brown eyes met his lighter ones. He was Finn – as genuine and worried about the feelings of others as a teenage boy could be, on his best days. He was Finn – but there was _Quinn._

"No," she said slowly. Because she inadvertently led him on, because it made it extremely explicit where her feelings lie now, because she liked having closure. "I don't think so, but –"

But suddenly he was staring at her eagerly, clasping her smaller hands with his. "So… does this mean we can be together?"

He looked so hopeful that Rachel felt terrible when she pulled her hands away from his. "Let me finish, Finn." She took a deep breath, preparing the speech she had been running through her head again and again for days. "I've been dreaming of New York and Broadway ever since I was capable of dreaming. You know this – _everyone_ does – and I… I may have let myself stray a little but being there in person made my perspective exceedingly clear."

His face was slowly falling, and Rachel swallowed hard.

"We graduate next year. As soon as that happens, I _will_ be going to New York, and I don't want anything or – or _anyone_ to distract me from that goal –" Guilt unfurled in her chest because that wasn't exactly true, not with Quinn around, but she didn't think that would go over well in this conversation, right now – "I just… I don't think a relationship is prudent for me right now."

 _Not with you, anyway,_ her guilty thoughts whispered.

She was pretty sure if Quinn ran in, right at this moment, and asked her out, she would have shouted _yes_ very loudly. Okay, maybe not in front of Finn – but the point still stood.

Finn looked somewhere in between disbelief, sadness and anger. "Are you sure, Rach? There's an entire year left… you don't have any plans before then, do you?"

She couldn't stand to stare at him anymore, so she looked down. Part of her just wanted to confess – to say her heart was preoccupied with someone else, but she didn't think Quinn would appreciate being outed by association – they weren't even _together_ , after all. She just shook her head again, her eyes slightly moist. "Finn…"

"What changed, Rachel? Me and you are meant to be – didn't you feel it, when I kissed you?" And while Finn was a genuine, caring teenage boy on his good days, he was also arrogantly stubborn at times.

Being kissed on a stage by the quarterback could somehow never compare to being kissed in an empty classroom by the ex-cheerleading captain, and that was when she knew for sure.

She reached out to rub his hands, gently, with her thumb. Her eyes implored him to understand. "I'm sorry, Finn."

This time, he was the one to pull his hands away as if burned, stiffly standing up with one last shake of his head. "I think you _are_ mad at me," he muttered under his breath, and Rachel wanted to sigh tiredly when she watched him storm off. Finn wasn't really the type to take things in stride instantly, so she supposed that went as well as it could.

She dragged her hands over her face. Everything was exhausting as of late – losing Nationals, figuring out her feelings, hurting Finn, and – to top it all off, she didn't even know if Quinn would even _want_ to be in an actual relationship.

The thought of rejection made her chest tighten; they really did have much to talk about this weekend.

* * *

The next day, she couldn't be that surprised when Kurt found her beside her locker in the morning, full of questions.

"So," he started casually, "is there anything you'd like to tell your very best friend?"

She adjusted the books she was carrying, regarding the boy. "If you're implying what I think you are, then – with respect to the other involved party – no."

"Please, Rachel," he smiled with an amused shake of his head. "You think I don't know? I live with Finn. He isn't exactly subtle about being upset."

Rachel couldn't help wincing. "It's bad, then?"

"Oh, not _terrible_ , by Finn's standards. He might've been stabbing his poor mashed potatoes a little roughly when we ate dinner, but he didn't kick anything. So, you know. He's controlling himself pretty well."

Rachel gave a tiny smile at that. "I'm sure you asked him about it. Didn't he fill you in?"

"I did, but I have a feeling his account might've been a tad… biased. He said you were mad at him over the whole Nationals debacle, but you just wouldn't admit it."

It would feel a lot less like gossiping if Kurt already knew, so this was a relief, because it was killing her to keep it inside. She would've talked about it with Quinn, but – well, she was waiting until the weekend, where they could talk properly.

Rachel sighed. "I was trying to let him down gently, but – I think _he_ still thinks I'm in love with him."

"And you're not?" Kurt looked eagerly at her like he was more invested in her answer than he should be.

"Um… no," she said, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Oh, nothing!" He waved her off, his voice pitched high and innocent as he leaned closer. "So – tell me more. I want _details_ , missy."

But the bell rang and students were hastily making their way through the hallway, so Rachel shook her head with a small laugh. "Can this wait until lunch, Kurt? We have a class to get to."

"Saved by the bell," he singsonged quietly.

She didn't expect to be let off the hook, because Kurt would never let any remotely juicy news go without trying to extract it. It was win-win for her anyway, because she got to vent meanwhile.

Not too long after she sat down at her usual table in the cafeteria, picking at her food, Kurt plunked down in the seat directly across from her. Mercedes and Sam were the only other ones at their table so far, and they were enraptured in some very engrossing topic that Rachel didn't care to partake in.

She had noted Finn sat at a different table with Puck and other guys from the football team, refusing to meet her eyes.

"Okay, girl – spill," Kurt said in a low voice, and she appreciated that he wasn't being completely conspicuous.

"I don't know what else you want to know," Rachel said with a nervous lilt. "Being in New York made me – remember what I wanted, I guess. It's where I'm meant to be."

"Me too," Kurt agreed.

"And, well… I can't really picture Finn there with me. Not like I used to. Besides, we only have a year left of school, and it's so _close_ in a way that's entirely frightening and exhilarating all at once." She let out a small, shaky laugh. "I won't let anything stop me from reaching my goals; being anchored to Lima is the last thing I want for myself. And…"

"And?"

She ran a hand through her hair, lowering her voice to nearly a whisper. "I-I think I like someone else. _Do not_ ask who, because I'm not telling."

Kurt had a mysterious smile on his face, not too different from the look he sported when he and Quinn reconciled not too long ago. It made Rachel feel like she wasn't privy to a shared secret. She was about to ask when Kurt spoke up first.

"It doesn't happen to start with ' _Q'_ and rhyme with ' _Finn'_ , does it?"

The only thing stopping her from flailing around in panic was the fact that they got interrupted.

" _Wow._ You two certainly don't look suspicious or anything," Quinn said, sounding amused when she slid into an empty chair next to Rachel. She shared a friendly wave with Sam and Mercedes before turning her attention back to Kurt and Rachel.

"Oh, _hi,_ Quinn! Nice to see you!" Rachel said in way that was a little too friendly and forced, because how was she supposed to act natural after Kurt's insinuation? "We definitely weren't talking about you, or anything."

"We weren't," Kurt shot Rachel a dirty look as if to say _let me handle this._

"Okay?" Quinn said doubtfully, her eyes flicking over Rachel's. She smiled tremulously in return. "Then what were you talking about?"

"My dearest step-brother, actually," Kurt replied. Rachel bit her lip, because now she'd have to get into it –

"Oh," Quinn said, as if that made perfect sense, and her gaze drifted towards the table that Finn was sitting at. "So, there's a reason he's been looking like a lost puppy?"

She sounded conversational, like she didn't care that much. But there was a certain edge to Quinn's voice – so small it could be easily missed, if you weren't Rachel, hyperaware of Quinn's reactions.

"Ah, so you've noticed?" Kurt smiled at her.

"It doesn't take a genius to notice. I mean, Finn isn't exactly what I'd call… low-key." Quinn and Kurt shared a laugh, and Rachel was a little flummoxed. She was happy they made nice after whatever happened between them – neither of them offered much detail, which was normal for Quinn but not so much for Kurt – but evidently it was something that made them closer.

Maybe she could ask Quinn about it this weekend. She had a feeling that was the only reason Kurt was tight-lipped on the subject.

"Anyway, _Miss Berry_ here apparently rejected his advances," Kurt continued, placing his chin on his hands as he leaned over the table slightly.

Quinn's brow furrowed, just a little. "Did she?" She turned to look at Rachel with interest, who was now fiddling with her hands. "When? You never told me."

"I was going to," Rachel mumbled. "Later. It only happened yesterday."

Quinn tried to look impartial, but there was a hopeful glimmer in her greenish-gold eyes. She reached between them to carefully hold Rachel's hand, and Rachel offered her a shy smile in response. Quinn returned it and Rachel's heart skipped a beat.

"Okay," Quinn said, licking her lips. "I believe you."

Kurt looked between them thoughtfully, in a way that made Rachel nervous about Quinn's reaction. He had to have known there was _something_ happening between them. She wondered if she should pull her hand away.

But Quinn remained relaxed and eased into a new topic of conversation with her and Kurt, and Rachel was more than content to leave their fingers intertwined under the table if Quinn was.

* * *

By the time Friday evening rolled around, Rachel was buzzing with nerves and excitement. She was in the living room, pacing around as she waited; Quinn wanted to pick her up, so she had to wait for the blonde to arrive. Her dads weren't even home to distract her, as they went out for date night.

She kind of felt like she was going out on a date, herself. She had perused her closet for nearly an hour trying to find a suitable outfit and ended up choosing a simple skirt and blouse combo, along with a headband.

Of course, they weren't _dating_ or anything, but somehow meeting Quinn's mom felt like a test she _had_ to pass – she was normally the type that adults liked, so she didn't know why she was stressing over it this much. She just knew she didn't want Quinn to regret inviting her over.

Rachel was contemplating brushing her teeth again when the doorbell rang.

She was at the door in record time, nearly tripping in her haste to open it. She was only a little breathless when she smiled Quinn, standing outside her door.

"Hello," Quinn said, politely, which made Rachel grin.

"You didn't have to come to the door," Rachel commented while reaching over to grab the overnight bag that she left in the foyer. "You could've texted me."

"I did," Quinn said. "After you didn't reply within two minutes I figured you must've been distracted."

"Did you?" One look at her phone indicated that yes, she did. She was so busy pacing and thinking that she missed it, somehow. "Oops. So you did. I've been diligently waiting for your arrival, I swear."

"Mhm," Quinn smiled at her. "You were quick to answer the door, at least. You know I hate to be kept waiting."

"Oh, yes. I wouldn't _dare_ keep the great Quinn Fabray waiting."

They laughed before making their way to the Berry driveway where Quinn's car was running idle. Quinn opened the passenger door for Rachel, making a chivalrous gesture that made Rachel think of prom night. She giggled as she entered the car, Quinn shutting the door behind her and then entering the driver's side.

She admired Quinn's profile for a moment while she watched the girl switch gears, backing up with a focused furrow to her brows. It was cute.

"You didn't have to get changed just to come to my house," Quinn said a little while later, when they were turning off her street.

"Oh, this?" Rachel shook her head lightly. "It was no big deal. I just thought, maybe, your mom might like something a step up from casual."

Quinn herself was in a pretty yellow dress and a jean jacket that she had been wearing at school, which may have been casual, but Quinn could make anything look good. _It's not fair, really,_ Rachel pouted inwardly.

"Don't worry about what my mom thinks," Quinn wrinkled her nose that Rachel could only vaguely see in the dimming outside light. "Been there, done that."

"I know you don't have the greatest relationship or anything, but I intend on making my best impression regardless. I'm very good with parents, I'll have you know." Rachel smiled with her teeth as if rehearsing for the real deal. Quinn looked over at her for a moment and huffed out a laugh at the sight.

"I'm not worried about _you_ making a good impression, Rachel. I'm worried about _her._ I'm sorry in advance if she says anything… weird."

"Like what? I think I can handle it."

"I don't know," Quinn blew out a breath, betraying the fact that she was more stressed about this than she was letting on. "We'll just try to keep it short and sweet, okay? I'd prefer if we just said our 'hellos' and scurried off to my room, but she's been in the kitchen for the past few hours preparing some fancy supper, so I guess we'll have to do that."

"That sounds nice, Quinn," Rachel felt the need to defend her mom. Quinn didn't particularly like to discuss her parents with her – or anyone, she was sure – but being friends, she did know enough about their relationship to know Judy Fabray was far from perfect, but she was _trying_ , at the very least. She paused for a moment. "Um, she knows I'm vegan, right?"

"Yeah," Quinn let out a breathless, short laugh as she made a left turn. Rachel was trying to memorize the path as they drove. "If I didn't, she definitely would've made turkey or something and then kill me for not better informing her of our guest's… preferences."

Rachel couldn't resist making a small huff. "It's not _just_ preference, Quinn, I thought you knew that. While yes – at its basest form – veganism is about your diet, but it's also a _philosophy_ –"

"I know, Rachel!" Quinn was suddenly exasperated, shooting a glare at Rachel for only a moment before focusing on driving. "Now I'm a little worried. You can give me a one-hour long presentation about the merits of veganism _after_ supper, okay? As long as you don't subject my mom to it." She ran a hand through her shortened locks, shaking her head.

Rachel just blinked at her, taken aback.

It didn't take long for Quinn to feel remorseful. She touched Rachel's shoulder briefly with a wrinkled brow. "Sorry," she mumbled. "I'm just… stressed. I shouldn't be taking it out on you."

Rachel leaned over to squeeze her thigh reassuringly until she received a reluctant smile from the blonde, who was staring at the road ahead. "There's nothing to worry about," Rachel soothed. "I can even pretend to be mute, if you'd like. I can add it to my extensive acting repertoire."

"That's a little…" Quinn made a face like she was stifling a laugh. " _No_ , Rachel. First, she would definitely wonder why I neglected to mention my friend being mute. _Second_ , I'm trying to make this as least awkward as possible."

"Okay, Rachel Berry with a word limit it is." She was only teasing, but Quinn seemed to take it to heart.

"Just be yourself," Quinn said quietly. "I like you that way. You shouldn't change even if someone tries to make you."

"Even if it's you half-panicking about me meeting your mom?"

" _Especially_ if it's me half-panicking about you meeting my mom."

After exchanging tentative smiles, the conversation died down after that. It didn't take too long before they were pulling into the Fabray driveway. Rachel scanned the house with interest – it looked about as nice as she'd expect, with a double garage and all. The outside was well maintained, and she was sure the inside would look similar.

When she was finished admiring her surroundings, Rachel turned to see Quinn staring off into space, seemingly lost in thought. Rachel reached over to squeeze her hand. "Well, aren't you going to show me inside?"

"Yeah," Quinn blinked back into focus. She bit her lip before exiting the vehicle, and Rachel followed. Quinn stopped beside her. "I'm sorry for being so snappy about this," she apologized with a frown that was very nearly a pout. Rachel was charmed.

"Everything's going to be fine, Quinn." She linked her elbow around Quinn's, coaxing a smile out of the blonde. "We'll have a nice dinner with your mom and then you can show me your room, okay? All enjoyable activities."

"If you say so," Quinn finally laughed, more relaxed this time, and she pulled Rachel along to her front door. Quinn hesitated before pulling her arm away from Rachel, but it was understandable, so the brunette said nothing.

The Fabray household was everything Rachel expected but also not, at first glance. It _was_ pristine and nicely decorated in the stereotypical white-suburban-house kind of way, but it wasn't _sterile_ or anything – maybe the smell of cooking food helped warm the atmosphere.

"Oh, Quinnie! You're back already?" A voice that Rachel could only assume was Judy Fabray's came from the kitchen. Hasty footsteps approached, and then she was in the foyer. Rachel had seen her, once or twice, but never actual _met_ her. The relation between her and Quinn was obvious, although she was a little more wrinkled and older in appearance. Rachel smiled nervously, looking towards Quinn.

"Yeah, Rachel's always pretty well prepared, so…" Quinn trailed off, before smiling, somewhat awkwardly. "Um, that being said – mom, this is Rachel. Rachel, this is, uh… my mom." She made vague hand gestures towards them as she introduced them.

Rachel almost giggled at that, but she didn't want to put Quinn further on edge. Instead, she smiled politely and extended her hand towards Judy. "It's nice to meet you, Ms. Fabray."

"It's nice to meet you too, dear," Judy returned, accepting the handshake. "And call me Judy – Ms. Fabray just makes me feel old."

"Okay… Judy it is." The name felt foreign to say, but – if that's what she wanted. Quinn was watching the two of them interact intently, and Rachel felt a little hot under her scrutiny.

"Well, I'm glad you came here, finally. Quinn talks about you a lot," she said warmly.

"Does she?" Rachel looked over casually at the same time Quinn groaned " _Mom,"_ with a faint blush.

Judy was unperturbed, however. "Quinnie, why don't you show her to your room? Supper will be ready in around ten minutes."

Quinn looked more than ready to do just that, so with a tiny wave Rachel let herself be guided up the stairs and down a hallway. Family photos adorned the halls – and well, the term _picture perfect_ was appropriate, here.

Then, at the end of the hall, they entered Quinn's room and Rachel couldn't help but take the time to marvel. It felt like a tiny victory. Although, the bedroom itself wasn't quite so telling of the person living inside it as her own room was.

"So. This is my room," Quinn declared and sounded a lot more comfortable already. She reached for Rachel's bag and Rachel handed it to her. "We can just put it on my bed for now, okay?"

"Sure," Rachel said absently, still taking the time to look around. _Hey, wait… "_ Where's the painting of Jesus?"

"What?" Quinn gave her a look. "What makes you think I'd have one?"

"Um, word of mouth? I need better sources, apparently." Rachel shrugged loosely. "So, you never did?"

"Who even mentions that?" Quinn pinched her nose, like she wasn't sure she was amused or exasperated. "Okay, so, I did in like… _sophomore_ year, but that's a weird thing for you to even remember."

Rachel smiled, because Quinn was finally relaxing. "Well, I remembered because I was a little curious how _ethnically accurate_ it was, but I suppose that my curiosity will never get assuaged."

Quinn gave her the strangest look and Rachel nearly burst into laughter. "You are _so…"_ Quinn stopped with a scoff, shaking her head.

Rachel plopped down on the edge of the bed like she belonged there, her smile widening. "I'm so what?"

Quinn made her way over to the bed, shoving Rachel by the shoulder playfully as she sat down right beside her. " _Insufferable."_

"I think you like that about me," Rachel batted her eyelashes, and it was the closest thing to _blatant flirting_ that she had done with Quinn, which made her nervous and excited all at once.

It was a little satisfying to watch Quinn flush slightly – and there was no immediate denial, so that was a win in Rachel's eyes.

Quinn squinted, pursing her lips. "Hmm. That's awfully presumptuous of you." The tone was teasing and low and it made Rachel's stomach twist with nerves and intrigue, but she was keenly aware they had a time limit before they had to _behave –_ although Rachel would've loved to push continuing _this_ to the front of her schedule.

Like the responsible girl she was, she leaned away and changed the subject. "Anyway, um… I'm really happy you invited me here, Quinn."

"I'm glad you're here," Quinn whispered, her eyes so intently on Rachel's that it almost drew Rachel in again.

But the time limit made itself known when a knock on the door made Quinn jump away, anxiety making her stiffen immediately. "Supper's ready, girls!" Judy called from outside.

For a moment, it almost seemed as if…

Rachel wished they hadn't been interrupted.

* * *

She helped Quinn set the table and before long all three of them were seated at the table eating something Judy proudly called _Creamy Butternut Squash Linguine_ alongside _Fried Sage_ and _Spiced Vegan Lentil Soup,_ which Rachel suspected she had found on Pinterest or something, but she appreciated it all the same.

"This looks delicious, Judy," Rachel commented kindly. Presentation was undoubtedly a strong suite of hers.

"Well, thank you, dear," Judy beamed, and Rachel could see Quinn looking slightly proud in the corner of her eye. "Go ahead and dig in."

She didn't have to ask twice. Rachel's stomach grumbled hungrily as she picked up a spoon, tasting the soup. It was as tasty as it looked, and she smiled approvingly when Judy caught her eye.

A little while later, when they all had taken a few bites, Quinn spoke up, too. "This is really good, mom."

"You girls certainly know how to butter a woman up," Judy laughed. It was apparent to Rachel that Quinn didn't tend to compliment her mother that often; she was happy to see them getting along.

But the peace was too good to last.

"So, when did you two become such good friends?" Judy asked, and it was such an innocent question Rachel nearly smiled.

"Well – we've been in Glee together since sophomore year, but we weren't really… um, we were tentative acquaintances, I guess?" Rachel winced in the middle of her explanation, and Quinn was staring at her pointedly. Rachel got the message – ' _don't say anything that'll raise more questions'_. "Um, we kind of became friends that year but… this year we got a lot closer."

"You must be," Judy commented. "Quinn doesn't tend to like sleepovers all that much; she likes her privacy."

Rachel smiled as Quinn made a noise of disapproval. "It wasn't really planned at first. I just kind of… spontaneously invited her on prom night the first time, and it became a –" Rachel turned to Quinn for help.

"A thing?" Quinn supplied easily enough. Rachel's chest fluttered only a little.

"Oh," Judy's face changed, sympathetically regarding her daughter. "I'm so glad you were there to comfort Quinn. She was so excited to win prom queen, and Finn was looking so handsome that night… I can't believe they didn't win."

"Mom," Quinn rolled her eyes. "I _told_ you – I'm over it."

Judy didn't seem to read the annoyance in Quinn's tone. "Speaking of… I still can't believe that boy broke up with you. You two looked good together."

Rachel anxiously watched Quinn, fidgeting a little under the table. This didn't seem to be going in a good direction.

"It doesn't matter how good we looked together," Quinn said evenly, although her brows were knitted together. "It's history."

"You're right, Quinnie. I'm sure you'll have a new boyfriend in no time; you must have hundreds of boys falling at your feet."

Rachel was pretty sure Quinn's mom meant it in the kindest way possible, but – well. The repetition of _boys_ was hard to miss.

Quinn, evidently, felt the same because her lips twitched. "I don't…" Quinn's frown deepened, and she shook her head. "I don't _care_ , mom. Can we please change the subject?"

"Sorry, dear," Judy said apologetically. She said it in a way that implied _sorry; your heart must still be broken_ more than _sorry; I didn't know you had no interest in dating._

' _Sorry; I didn't know that you might be kind of into girls_ ' was nowhere near crossing Judy's mind, Rachel was certain. To be fair, if Quinn hadn't kissed _her_ – twice! – she wouldn't have really believed Quinn to be anything but primly heterosexual.

It didn't take long for Rachel to finish up her meal, and she was desperate to relieve some of the tension that lingered. "I must say – for someone who doesn't usually cook vegan meals, that was _amazing_ , Judy."

Judy smiled once again, easing into a conversation with Rachel, but it was hard to miss Quinn glowering for the rest of supper.

* * *

They were back in Quinn's room sooner rather than later. They had helped do the dishes and wipe the table, but as soon as they finished Quinn was quick to pull Rachel upstairs.

Rachel looked on with a worried frown when the blonde stalked around the room, like she couldn't decide what she wanted to do, until she finally just sat down on her bed with a sigh. Rachel hazarded a few steps closer, unsure if she should follow.

"You can sit down, you know," Quinn said, amused, though her voice sounded a little hollow to Rachel's ears.

Rachel did. It was uncomfortable to have a conversation – or, not have a conversation – standing around. She was careful not to sit too close. "Are you okay?" It felt needless to ask, but what else could she say?

"I'm fine," Quinn let out a long huff of air after she said it. "It's just… _ugh._ Sorry for making everything awkward. I just wanted you to… have a good time, but I _knew_ something was going to go wrong."

"Quinn," Rachel laughed softly, reaching to pat her hand when the blonde gave her a pout at the reaction. "You don't have to orchestrate a perfect sleepover. I _am_ having a good time. Okay, yes, dinner was a little awkward," she conceded, "but it wasn't _your_ fault and – well… not really your mother's, either. I don't know. She's trying."

Quinn sucked in her teeth like she wanted to protest. "I guess."

She was losing some of the tension in her body, but Rachel could tell she was still bothered. She leaned over with a tilt of her head, attempting to catch Quinn's eye. "Why do you let her get to you like that?"

"She's my mom," Quinn explained like it was the simplest answer in the world, closing her eyes. Rachel suspected there was more she wanted to say, so stayed silent. "I was raised with perfection in mind; there was always pressure to be the best at _everything_. My dad was a successful businessman, and my mom was the ideal wife and their kids had to be – perfect."

Rachel had always wondered what kind of parents could throw their own child out, and she supposed it all made sense, why Quinn was the way she was. She frowned on Quinn's behalf. "That's…"

But Quinn wasn't finished. "Anyway, perfection is nothing but a sham – I got pregnant, and my parents got divorced. I'm not even the head cheerleader anymore. I've made… so many mistakes." She was looking at the ground and it made Rachel's heart twist in sympathy. "I'm done trying to be something I'm not."

"You're better than perfect," Rachel said quietly. "You're _human_. With all the little idiosyncrasies and emotions that come with that."

The corners of Quinn's lip twitched upwards, and her eyes never looked warmer and vulnerable when she finally met Rachel's. Quinn Fabray _trusted_ her, Rachel realized with a startling pang of emotion that set her heart racing.

"I'm going to hug you now, okay?" Rachel announced before reaching out to the blonde, wrapping her arms around the taller girl with a smile. Quinn giggled softly into her ear and Rachel could feel herself falling in love with the sound. "What's so funny?"

"I thought we were past the point where you had to declare that," Quinn smiled, rubbing a spot on Rachel's back that made her spine tingle. She would never get tired of being near Quinn.

"Well," Rachel replied coyly, forcing herself to pull away even though she wanted to stay in the embrace. "I thought you'd appreciate the warning this time around. I know you don't like to be ambushed."

"Do you?" Quinn's eyes flickered down to pink lips, and Rachel swallowed. She wasn't expecting this.

"Hmm," Rachel pretended to think as Quinn narrowed her eyes playfully. "Only by cute blondes."

"So, Sam, then?"

"Yes. You caught me. I definitely have Sam on my mind right now."

Quinn snorted in a way that was so inelegant that it amused Rachel to no end. She brightened, happy to see that the mood had significantly lightened. Okay, maybe she wished Quinn would follow through with what she was playing at, but she couldn't be mad when they were _flirting._ In Quinn's bed!

Her disappointment was briefly washed away when Quinn's lips found their way to her cheek before the blonde pulled away with a grin. She couldn't help but pout.

"What?" Quinn asked innocently.

"While I'm not complaining," Rachel began with a frown. "I can't help feeling that was a step back. I believe you were doing a nice thing where each kiss in succession was getting a little longer, so this third one should have been at _least_ twenty-three minutes, by my calculations. Also, on the lips."

"Is that so?" Quinn laughed. Rachel nodded decisively. "I thought you wanted to talk."

"I do." Rachel was very close to ignore talking in favor of kissing, and she _loved_ talking. The teenage part of her brain won out. "Maybe we could kiss a little first, before talking," she said, very irresponsibly.

Quinn's lips pressed together with a hum. "I don't think there'll be much talking going on if that happens." Her eyes were smoldering when she glanced at Rachel, and the brunette felt warm.

"You're right," Rachel conceded with a disappointed sigh.

"Since when am I the responsible one?" Quinn smirked before getting off the bed and making her way to lock her door. She sat back on the edge of the bed, grabbing the remote and switching her television on. "What do you want to watch?"

"Do you have a DVD stash somewhere?" Rachel looked around, but there weren't any in plain sight.

"I have some. Maybe not as many as _you_ , but I have a normal people amount," Quinn teased, and Rachel smiled slowly. She might have refuted this if it were any other time.

"You can go ahead and choose," she murmured distractedly, suddenly nervous thinking of all the questions she'd finally get to ask. She wanted this for weeks, yet she was still somewhat fearful.

"Okay," Quinn glanced back at her, once, before hopping off the bed before digging around for DVDs in the cabinet under the television.

* * *

They got into their pajamas and did their nightly routines before settling comfortably into the bed and starting the movie – Rachel may or may not have eyed Quinn's legs a little, since she chose to wear shorts and it was awfully distracting. Thankfully they went under the covers by the time the movie started.

"So," Rachel started casually, "Is there any particular reason we're watching _Mean Girls_?"

"Nope," Quinn replied simply.

"Is this where you found your inspiration for your… characterization, in sophomore year?"

"No," Quinn laughed, now, but she also had an expression that betrayed that she didn't find it all that funny. "Are you comparing me to Regina George?"

"Well, maybe pre-character development," Rachel offered.

Quinn wrinkled her nose in response. "I'm not a character, Rachel." Hazel eyes looked in her direction, and Quinn leaned over to bump her shoulder against Rachel's. "Anyway," she murmured lowly. "The movie's not important. We're supposed to be talking, aren't we?"

Rachel bit down on her bottom lip nervously. "Right now?"

"Is Rachel Berry getting stage fright?" Quinn smiled slightly, grabbing Rachel's hand and placing it in her lap over the blanket. Her fingers glided over the top gently. "I mean – we don't have to, if you don't want to." Quinn licked her lips, and while it was better concealed it was apparent that she was nervous, too. "But I just want you to know that I'm, um, ready to be honest."

She was a lot of things, but she wasn't a coward. So, with a deep breath, Rachel started talking. "Okay. Okay. Questions – I have them." Quinn looked thoroughly tickled by her babbling, but she let her continue without making a comment. "Well, first of all, I just wanted to say that um – I was _very_ surprised to be kissed by you – thrice, if we count that one on the cheek – so, seeing as this confuses me the most, we should start there."

"What about them?" Quinn clearly couldn't resist being somewhat cheeky about this. _She's pretty good at making you work for answers,_ Rachel thought begrudgingly.

"Well – I guess I asked you why, once, but the answer doesn't really hold now that you've kissed me with seemingly no other motive, so… why did you kiss me? Do you," Rachel hesitated before pushing forward, "Do you… like me?"

Quinn blinked, a few times, before smiling tremulously. "Um – wow, you sure you don't want to start with something easier?"

Rachel almost responded, but apparently it was only a quip, because Quinn was pursing her lips in thought. She let the comfortable silence fill the space between them, until the blonde was ready to answer.

"Yeah," Quinn admitted so quietly Rachel had to strain her ears to hear. She ducked her head shyly, not meeting Rachel's eyes anymore. "I like you."

Rachel's chest fluttered so pleasantly at the confession, and she leaned over to rest her head on Quinn's shoulder. Quinn glanced down at her, and Rachel smiled up at her. "Really?"

"This isn't exactly something I'd lie about, Rachel," Quinn replied, her voice slightly strained.

"I know," Rachel said soothingly, reaching down to play with Quinn's hand this time. "It's just… kind of hard to believe."

"Believe me, no one thought that more than me."

Rachel thought it sounded a little sad when she said it, so she squeezed Quinn's hand. "For how long?"

"I…" Quinn furrowed her brows, contemplative. "I really don't know. It was just like, one day, I kind of realized. And then, um, other things made sense. So… for awhile," Quinn said vaguely.

Rachel took a few seconds to process, digesting this information easily enough, but then her brows nearly climbed to her forehead when she realized the implications. "Wait – even when you were still with Finn?"

"Rachel – I _kissed you_ when I was still with Finn, how is that surprising?" She sounded a little defensive, but Rachel was pretty sure it had more to do with nerves than actually being _mad_ – she hoped.

"Well, clearly I knew that there was – something amiss in your relationship come prom night, but – like… what about… before that?" Her mind flickered to confrontations and hurt feelings beside a piano.

It was easy to know when Quinn realized what she was alluding to, because regret and discomfort swam in her eyes. "That was…" She took her bottom lip into her mouth, pausing. "You've always been too good for Finn. Whether I liked you or not."

To anyone else, maybe that wouldn't have been an answer, but to Rachel – that was an admission if any. Suddenly she felt like she'd have to recontextualize every interaction they've had in the past months, but that was a problem for another day.

"And _you_ aren't too good for him?"

Quinn shrugged dismissively. "I don't know."

Rachel didn't always understand Quinn's methods, but she was slowly gaining a better idea of what made her tick.

She could probably ask questions about this all night because _Quinn Fabray_ liked _her_! She wanted to know everything that possibly could have led to such a thing. The when, the what, the how. But she knew Quinn better now, and while Quinn was opening up to her, she would surely hate to be battered with endless questions on such a delicate topic.

"Is it my turn, now?" Quinn asked a moment later, looking at Rachel like she couldn't wait to talk about something else.

She hadn't really considered that _Quinn_ had her own questions, but… "It's only fair," she replied, still dazed at Quinn's admission.

"So… what happened with _you_ and Finn?" Quinn asked, pointedly. There was the barest glimmer of hope in her eyes.

"Well, you know what happened at Nationals…" Rachel trailed off.

"Yeah," Quinn scowled, and Rachel had the faintest urge to kiss the pout off Quinn's face. But – talking. Yes, that was important.

"He, um, wanted to get back together. I was trying to let him down without being too harsh, but I don't think I really – got through to him."

"Why didn't you say yes?"

Rachel was sure she had the most incredulous expression on her face right now. "Are you really asking me that? Surely you know by now that my romantic feelings have been… diverted."

"I need to hear it," Quinn said softly, and it was clear to Rachel that despite Quinn being _way_ better at hiding her insecurities than herself – she was still just a girl, underneath it all. Affection bloomed in her chest.

She moved over to sit in front of Quinn, reaching over with both of her hands to squeeze Quinn's paler ones. "Quinn," Rachel murmured, trying to get the blonde to meet her eyes. Quinn looked at her reluctantly. "I like you too. Okay?"

Quinn lips twitched like she was barely containing a huge smile. Instead, she tempered it and furrowed her brow. "You're sure? This isn't like… a Mr. Schue kind of crush, is it?"

Rachel frowned, pulling her hands away and shaking her head emphatically. "No! I admit, I can get carried away sometimes, but I'm – I'm _positive_ about feelings for you," she declared. "Once I got over the surprise, it wasn't really hard to… um, realize I kind of really liked when you kissed me. _Like_ , really liked it, so…"

Pink dusted over Quinn's cheeks, and she glanced away in embarrassment. " _Okay,_ " she squeaked. "Nevermind. I believe you."

"I didn't take you to be so bashful about this stuff," Rachel smiled, though she was blushing too.

"I mean –" Quinn licked her lips, eyes back on Rachel. "This is new to me. Okay? You're not just some… teenage boy. I'm _used_ to that."

"Well, so am I," Rachel said, suddenly nervous.

"Doesn't it scare you?" Quinn asked, absently stroking a finger over the top of Rachel's hand. Rachel almost smiled at the tenderness.

"Yes," Rachel admitted, because it did, somewhat. "But I'm not the type to run away from things that frighten me."

"That makes one of us," Quinn shrugged her shoulders, her tone a little self-deprecating. A moment later, she flopped down on the bed, stretching her legs over Rachel's lap because they had no other place to go. Rachel giggled as she lightly patted the blonde's thigh.

"What are you doing?" Rachel asked, because they'd been doing an awful lot of talking and she was still kind of reeling from the revelations, and maybe this was an indication Quinn was done.

"Laying down," Quinn deadpanned, before smiling up at her coyly. "It gets a little tiring sitting up and having a huge conversation – maybe not for _you_ , but I don't tend to talk this much – and…"

"And?" She was lightly rubbing Quinn's thighs at this point, paying more attention to the blonde than what her own hands were doing.

"Get down here, you dork," Quinn demanded, swatting Rachel's hands away. "And stop trying to reach third base when we've barely touched first."

"I was _not_ –" Rachel protested, but was interrupted when Quinn suddenly sat up and pulled Rachel back down with her. She couldn't help laughing when their bodies collided a little roughly while landing on the bed. "Have you heard of _asking nicely_?" Rachel asked sharply, disentangling her body from Quinn's so she could face her sideways.

"I did ask nicely," Quinn smiled, all white teeth and mischievousness.

"I hardly think calling me a _dork_ constitutes as nice, Qu –" She was interrupted yet again when Quinn's finger press against her mouth, shushing her. Rachel's brows knitted together to show her displeasure.

"As much as I'd _love_ to hear your indignant speech," Quinn began, batting her eyelashes in a way that made Rachel's stomach twist pleasantly. "Don't think you think we could be doing something more fun with our mouths?"

Rachel flushed. Was this what whiplash felt like? One moment Quinn was timid and shy, and the next she suddenly got all controlling and – and _seductive_ , and Rachel was flummoxed. Quinn's finger fell away as she smiled slowly at Rachel's reaction.

"Is that a yes?"

Rachel nodded, making a zipping motion over her mouth, and Quinn laughed as she leaned over, her face close to Rachel's. "Now _this_ is new," she teased.

"You'll find I'm getting better at compromise," Rachel countered, enjoying the effortless banter.

"Noted," Quinn whispered, finally closing the distance between their lips.

* * *

They kissed softly for awhile, side by side. Quinn kissed her like they had all the time in the world, and it made her heart blossom with warmth. They took their time learning what the other liked.

It felt like a _first real kiss_ – while the one they shared in the classroom was certainly nice, Quinn had kissed her with a certain urgency and the unexpectedness made Rachel kiss more hesitantly than she normally would.

But this time – Rachel would be content to kiss like this for hours, probably.

Quinn seemed to have other ideas, because eventually she pulled away. Rachel offered a shy smile, watching the blonde – she didn't really want to stop, not really, but if Quinn wanted to…

Before she could say anything, Quinn rolled over, and suddenly she was hovering over Rachel, her hands splayed on either side of the brunette. Wide brown eyes blinked up at the girl above her, trying to steady her breathing. Quinn was gazing down at her with a half-lidded, almost lazy smile and it made Rachel's pulse quicken.

"Is this okay?" Quinn asked carefully, her relaxed demeanor melting into caution. Rachel felt more than saw her fingers flexing into the mattress on either side of her, like she was ready to pull away at a single word.

Rachel appreciated it, although she found it entirely unnecessary. "Yeah," she said quickly, and she was sure her excitement might've spilled into her voice, a little bit, because Quinn had a cocky grin on her face as she leaned down again.

And she wasn't really prepared for it, when her hands instinctively found their way to Quinn's back, and the taller girl lowered herself onto her elbows, so their chests were touching, and she ended up making a soft noise against Quinn's mouth when their lips slid together.

"God," Quinn breathed in response, and then there was a pink tongue sliding against Rachel's bottom lip. She shivered at the sensation and felt Quinn smiling. "You're so…" she started, but then stopped when her mouth found its way to Rachel's again and again, tugging lightly into her bottom lip.

"I'm so – what?" Rachel asked between kisses, a little breathlessly, and she was sure her cheeks were positively flushed and she was glowing with so many _feelings_ but she was still a curious creature at heart.

Quinn just raised a hand to brush the hair away from Rachel's face, nosing her cheek softly in a way that made her smile. Instead of answering, she kissed her, again, biting at Rachel's lip in a way that surprised her into opening her mouth to gasp, but the sound kind of faded in her throat when a warm tongue touched hers.

She was notably distracted after that. And she _had_ made out plenty times before – with Finn, a little, Jessie, sometimes, even _Puck_ – that one time. But something about the way Quinn moved and used her lips and just looked and _sounded_ was appealing in a whole new way.

Rachel's hands had made their way into Quinn's hair, while she was doing particularly _interesting_ things with her tongue, but eventually she pulled away with one last sweet, closed-mouth kiss so they could catch their breath. Rachel noticed, a little smugly, that she was quicker to recover. She took advantage of that.

"Hey," she said, high-pitched and casual as if she wasn't currently underneath an equally flushed blonde. "That wasn't an answer."

Quinn laughed – out of breath and amused. "You're still – concerned about that?"

"Of course I am," Rachel raised a brow, running her hand down Quinn's back idly. "I take any compliments – or critiques – _very_ seriously."

"It was definitely a critique," Quinn said airily, leaning down to kiss Rachel again. Rachel moved her hand to block it with a pout, making Quinn narrow her eyes. "What?"

"Let me hear it, then," Rachel requested, smiling a moment later as she rubbed Quinn's bottom lip gently.

Quinn pressed her tongue against the inside of her cheek, and normally Rachel would find the action amusing but now she felt herself eyeing up the slight bulge with barely disguised interest. "Fine," Quinn muttered, petulant. "I was going to say you're – adorable, or something _,_ but I wasn't sure if…"

"If what?" Rachel asked, caressing Quinn's warm cheek, now. The blonde was looking a little shy again.

"I don't know – you'd like it?"

"Why wouldn't I? I _love_ compliments. Feel free to do so anytime," Rachel grinned, fluttering her lashes in a way she hoped looked flirty.

Quinn stifled a broad smile as she shook her head. "How modest of you," the blonde quipped as she kissed Rachel without interruption, this time.

By the time Quinn started sucking on her bottom lip, Rachel's eyes were closed tight, and she was incredibly dazed. It didn't take long before Rachel was panting again, making soft noises of approval that she knew Quinn liked because she kissed a little harder at the sound.

Quinn kissed down from her jaw to her neck, and Rachel wondered how much she could handle tonight, because – _wow._ "Quinn," Rachel gasped softly at the sensation of warm lips pressing against her throat. She kneaded at the nape of her neck encouragingly, and Quinn only increased her efforts.

At the first brush of Quinn's tongue near her ear, Rachel couldn't help but let out a moan that made both of them freeze. Rachel hazarded a glance at the blonde; her eyes looked dark and golden in the dim light.

"Do you want me to stop," Quinn panted out, eyeing Rachel's neck one last time before dragging her eyes to Rachel's face.

"Um –" Rachel made a strangled sound, because no, she very much wanted this to continue. But they weren't even – well, together, and… she hadn't gone much further than this, before. "N-not really, but…"

Quinn seemed to understand, though, because she pulled herself away and rolled off to lay beside her. She blinked a few times, like she had to clear a foggy mind, much like Rachel's. " _Wow_ – that was –" Quinn stammered, licking her lips that were now a little swollen, blown-out eyes gazing at Rachel. "Nice. I'm sorry if I went too far?"

"You were fine," Rachel promised quietly, nuzzling timidly into the crook of Quinn's neck. The blonde shivered slightly. She smiled privately at the reaction before Quinn's arms encircled her, a thumb rubbing her back.

Quinn was being so sweet. She would have never suspected it, until the past weeks, but this was a side of Quinn that she got to see, now; the thought made her overwhelmingly warm with affection.

She pulled back, slightly, to study Quinn's face. It was still slightly pink, but mostly she looked satisfied and _happy_ and the little smile she gave Rachel when she met her eyes stole her heart and she couldn't stop herself from speaking up. "Quinn, can I ask you a very important question that you _have_ to answer?"

Quinn tensed, her relaxed gaze suddenly fearful. "Okay?"

Rachel felt a little bad for her penchant of building things up – so she lightly stroked her fingers through Quinn's hair. "Is this _thing_ between us… um, becoming official in the near future?"

"God, give me a heart attack, will you?" Quinn exhaled into a laugh, like she was letting out breath she was holding. Her laughter died off quickly, settling into a nervous smile. "Uh, do you want us to be?"

Rachel pouted. "Answering with another question isn't really an answer at all, Quinn. I mean – I like kissing you, um, a lot – a-and I don't want you to be seeing someone else, so…"

Quinn chewed her lip. "Funnily enough, I never – I never… thought about getting this far. I mean, kissing you had just been a fantasy, for _months_ –"

It was hard for Rachel to resist grinning somewhat proudly at that, and Quinn just playfully scowled and pushed her cheek gently. "So…?" Rachel pushed her to continue.

"The idea of dating you scares me," Quinn admitted quietly, avoiding Rachel's hurt expression when she continued. "Not because of you. Okay? It's… I'm a little screwed up, Rach."

Rachel's chest was filled with fondness at the nickname, and she reached her hand down between them to hold Quinn's. "I think everyone is, in their own way. I don't – I don't judge you or anything, alright?"

"I know. You just – you make me _happy_ ," she stressed softly, shaking her head against her pillow before continuing. "I don't want to mess this up, and my relationship history doesn't exactly have a high success rate…

Rachel felt like her next statement might be walking into a minefield, but – she was always a little too honest. "Are you sure that's not because they've all been… um, boys?"

With their proximity, it was hard to miss the way Quinn stiffened, but to her credit she didn't immediately deflect or _snarl_ or something. She did, however, glower slightly "Yeah, that – we're not going to address that at all for now, okay? I've accepted my – my _crush_ on you, but I'm not…" She sighed instead of finishing that statement.

The _gay_ went unsaid, but Rachel could hear it loud and clear. She was _sad_ , for Quinn, because evidently her upbringing made all of this _infinitely_ more complicated. Even Rachel – with two gay fathers – had a few minor hang-ups when she realized she wasn't completely straight, so she could only imagine how hard it was for Quinn.

So, if admitting her feelings for Rachel without naming her sexuality was as far as she could handle, for now… Rachel could work with that.

"I'm not really sure of anything either," Rachel confessed, her fingers running up and down Quinn's arm. "If – if you're not prepared to date, that's… okay with me." It was hard to say, because when Rachel felt _anything_ it was always with a feverous passion. But she was learning not to push Quinn with too much too fast.

Quinn visibly swallowed, a conflicted look on her face that made Rachel almost believe she might've been working up the courage. But then she moved to sit up, mumbling something about turning off the TV – the movie had long been over – and she turned off the bedside lamp, leaving them in darkness.

Rachel's eyes hadn't adjusted by the time Quinn crawled back into the bed, so she could only feel the dip beside her that indicated she was laying down again. Rachel blindly reached out to affirm her distance, gently palming the other girl's face. She heard a noise of amusement when Quinn pulled her hand away, keeping them together close to her chest.

"Goodnight, Quinn?" She asked more than stated, because she wasn't sure if that was the end of the conversations for tonight.

There was a movement beside her, and before she could get her bearings she was being gently pushed onto her back and a body pressed into hers. She took a shaky breath, laughing softly. "Is this supposed to be your goodnight kiss? Because may I suggest making it a little less pouncy and more –"

Quinn kissed her, once, cutting her off from saying anything else. And when she looked up, she could just barely see Quinn's features in the dark, from beautiful hazel eyes to somewhat mussed blonde hair. "No. This is my 'Rachel, will you be my girlfriend' kiss," Quinn said, and she sounded so hopeful and nervous. Rachel couldn't adore her more.

"Really?" She squealed, wishing she could better express her excitement in the dark. She was smiling so hard her cheeks hurt.

"Shh, it's late," Quinn laughed softly, brushing a finger against Rachel's lips. "Um… I can't promise I'll be perfect, or I won't make any mistakes, and suck at communicating sometimes. We'll have to take it _really_ slow, and I'm still scared. But I think you're unfailing optimism is rubbing off on me a little, so… I want – I want to try." She took in an unsteady breath, "So, will you… be my girlfriend?"

In lieu of answering, Rachel leaned up and pulled Quinn down to shower her face in kisses until breathless giggles dissipated. "Is – is that a yes?"

"Of course, you goof," Rachel smiled into a slower kiss, this time on the lips.

They kissed for a little while after that, but it didn't take long for them to tire out. Rachel felt so happy that she was afraid she might burst, so sleeping would be a welcome reprieve. But there were a few last nagging thoughts she had to address.

"I know we only have a few weeks left until summer break, but what happens at school?" She blurted, when they were laying facing each other, tucked under the blankets.

Quinn winced. "I can't… I can't come out. Yet. I know you won't like it –"

"Don't assume my feelings," Rachel cut in gently. "I don't expect it to be easy, or for everyone to know. Okay? We'll figure it out. I'm happy with this, for now." Rachel reached out to rub Quinn's hand reassuringly, and a reluctant smile grew on Quinn's face. "But – I have to ask, can I tell _anyone_ – because –"

"Santana knows," Quinn announced abruptly.

Rachel's eyes were owlish. "What?"

"I mean – she's like a hawk when she has suspicions, you know? She's been… kind of hinting it, for awhile, but after Nationals she finally asked directly," Quinn shrugged at the end of her explanation.

"And that… doesn't bother you?" Rachel asked, carefully.

"No," Quinn's face twitched with a frown. "I trust her – for the most part. At least about this. Because in the end, I have the same dirt on her."

"That's terrible, Quinn! Please tell me you wouldn't think of using that against her," Rachel admonished – Santana and Brittany were kind of an unspoken secret everyone in the Glee club knew about by now, but _still._

Quinn stared at her, before sighing. "I know, okay? It still… reassures me. You don't need to lecture me on how terrible that is."

"Okay," Rachel let it go, for now. She fiddled with a blanket when she spoke up again. "Um, please don't freak out, but I think Kurt knows, too. I swear, I never said a word –" Instead of the panic she was expecting, Quinn was slowly appearing more and more amused. Rachel stopped with a questioning look.

"I told him," Quinn said, in a soft, low voice that quelled Rachel's nerves.

"Wait, is that why you two have gotten so chummy?" Rachel asked – and _wow_ , after tonight, so many things were making a lot more sense.

Quinn laughed, quietly. "I wouldn't say _chummy,_ but – yeah."

Rachel hummed. She was getting sleepy, but she was buzzing on kisses and confessions. "Okay, so, Kurt and Santana know. I wouldn't be surprised if – if some other people in the Glee club had their suspicions…"

Quinn blew out a breath. "Yeah. But can we worry about them – later?" She seemed so _small_ , so different to the domineering Quinn that Rachel was familiar with. Her heart swelled with the urge to protect her.

"Of course," Rachel said, squeezing Quinn's hand once before retreating. "We have time to figure this all out. For now, let's sleep on it?"

"That sounds good," Quinn agreed with a yawn, sinking into her pillow. Rachel moved to make herself more comfortable, squirming closer to Quinn in a way she'd call _subtle_ – until the other girl lazily draped on arm across her.

"So, Quinn…" Rachel started casually about five minutes later, her voice soft.

"Mm?" Quinn made a soft noise to show that she heard her but was evidently close to falling asleep.

"When do I get to present my hour-long lecture on veganism?"

She received a lazy, uncoordinated swat along with an amused huff in return.

Rachel smiled, closing her eyes. "Goodnight, Quinn."

"'Night, Rachel."

* * *

Quinn turned out to be right, somewhat. Everything wasn't _fairytale_ easy.

They only had a few weeks left of junior year, which meant finals were on the horizon – so a lot of their new relationship consisted of study sessions – which, yes, sometimes got a little off track.

Finn was… well, Finn was a little distant and still seemed like he was waiting for Rachel to chase after him. That was something that would require time and more conversations.

Quinn still got a little anxious about any public displays of affection, and while they had frequent movie nights, they were at Rachel's house a lot more than Quinn's.

But everything wasn't all that bad. Most of the time, things were wonderful.

Kurt (and Blaine, by extension) were exuberant to hear they were _finally_ together – and of course, demanded to go on double dates. Quinn was mildly amused, but wasn't opposed, to Rachel's delight.

It was obvious that Santana _loved_ to rib Quinn about it, but their bickering was generally good-natured, and Santana attempted to use only the less offensive nicknames regarding Rachel instead of the worse ones. Basically, it was a noble effort, by Santana standards.

And Quinn was… Quinn was amazing, and caring, and sweet, and a lot of other adjectives Rachel could scarcely see herself using for the blonde at the start of junior year.

She might even be a little _in love_ –

"What are you smiling about?" Quinn approached Rachel in the cafeteria, sliding down to sit next to her. Her lips were upturned in a playful way that made Rachel swoon.

"I was thinking about you," Rachel admitted, blushing only a little.

Quinn ducked her head, looking away, but Rachel could see her smile widening into broad, shy grin. It was _adorable_. " _Jerk._ I wanted to tease you, but you got me all… embarrassed."

"You're so cute," Rachel remarked, smiling widely when Quinn noticed that she was making a reference to one of their early sleepovers and narrowed her eyes with an arched brow.

"The tables have turned, hm?" Quinn leaned into Rachel, resting her head on the brunette's shoulder. Rachel blinked, pleasantly surprised when she reached out to hold her hand, too.

"Yeah," Rachel laughed breathlessly. "They certainly have."

As messy as it was, junior year – in Rachel's humble opinion – was a success.

* * *

 **A/N:** Whew! Well, seeing as this is kind of my first fic of sorts (I've been an on-and-off writer, just never serious fics) I can say I've learned a few things!  
Namely - I think I'll wait to have a fic completed before posting so I can stagger chapters / post it all whenever. Having an incomplete story out there stresses me out, I've learned!  
Second, I am pretty terrible at estimating how long a scene will take - I had a whole 'nother scene (or group of scenes, rather, with more of the ensemble) planned out, but it wasn't pertinent to the main end result other than tying some loose ends, so I may just post a separate direct sequel to write that out sometime. :)

Anyway, thank you so much for reading! x


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